2008...in a few words...and 2009

2008 is a year with a lot of swings...the problem though is that each swing happened to occur on a different magnitude such that it takes anyone a much harder and longer time to fully feel the impact of each swing before another comes along...

But still, as it is, and as of the end of 2008 - I have come henceforth...in the midst of celebrating the passing of another year - at home, yes...here comes my few moments of 2008...if any at all...

- Hunting for jobs...and the job search: This is probably the most significant thing that has taken me, both physically and emotionally. Not sleeping cos of the need to read up for interviews, and then read on the train....before it...And of course trying to ride it out, hoping for the best results... Or even the basic effort of looking for jobs everywhere, sending resumes, making calls etc... I truly confess that my own emotional moods had been severely affected by it. Some people do not truly appreciate the fact that they are in a job in these bad times, and still grouse, and want to jump... others just want to show off and shove it in your face. I myself had to experience the ups and downs of being out and in the job market as I left my first, in the hunt for another...

Therefore, the moral of the story is this: one must create his own chances...that means...prepare for possible interview tests, resumes etc... and be really patient.

- Commencement: Although I did not post up any pictures here, but then I already did in facebook (which reminds me that I have not visited for a long long while), it is truly the best thing that any graduate can have. That short moment of glory, with your certificate - is a hallmark in every sense of the word - not just getting a basic degree - but to me, also the end of my academic exploits... but if this is the way to end it, then it is a heck of a ride...

As I have pointed out previously that my time in NUS is a lot more eventful than I would have wanted, I still appreciated the time I was there...taught me a lot of lessons that have readied me for the working world as best as I could...

As it is, these 2 issues have dominated most of my thinking time...so let's get on with my own resolutions...

1 - To lose weight and pass my fitness tests in a few months time...if I can lose 10kgs it wld be a gd thing...

2 - To consolidate in my new appointment and excel in it hopefully - although I will have to get used to the time of travelling - can't be helped I guess...

3 - Helping fulfil family obligations...

4 - Romance here would take a back seat here, but still my goal of getting a gf - and a good one wld still occupuy my main resolutions...

5 - Stay in contact with good pals like you guys - =) Thanks for everything in 2008 - and long may it continue in 2009.

6 - Anything else is a bonus. =D

Finally...it's over...the end of the abyss

Always I ask myself what happens what I would do when I eventually come to the end of the abyss that is my state of disillusionment...

I never knew that I could be that lucky when I had 2 on the table when I made changes to my interview skills, and various tests that I had to overcome...but eventually I had to choose one. And choose I did.

Of course, on record, I will not like to declare my incoming appointment because I do not sense the need to boast - but I will like to take the opportunity here to thank a select group of friends who helped me through this storm...and hence I have them to thank as much as the blessings of the gods as well in getting this one.

To Parvin, Kelvin and Thomas - thanks to all of you =D

This new appointment that I am taking - lands me up in an environment which I totally do not expect myself to be in. But it is a new challenge and all that I want to do now is to settle in and excel in it so that I will have other chanves of climbing up the ladder in this ministry.

In short though, this is the best Christmas present of 2008. And I am damn happy to get it =P

Next up - a review of things 2008, and resolutions Part 3 (of course after 06 and 07 editions...)

A very belated one...so many things...from a tunnel to light to a tunnel again (Part II)

So continuing from where i left off...I eventually got a job after commencement...

But that's where things did not improve as I thought...it came to my brutal realisation that this job that I did needed people with a lot of mental steel, tenacity and ruthlessness to withstand the ups and downs of it..

The nature of it being one that is so hinged on KPIs that affect my rice bowl, developments that happened from September nowards were catastrophic - bad until even for an MNC like my company, profits fell by a full 75%... And of no doubt my own revenue sank to new lows - such that I dare not even mention it to my friends whom I met up at times. I fully realised the despised looks that I so 'rightly' deserved for such a job - save for a few who really cared about what I felt when Idid what I chose to.

So I left sometime later, and I am now back in the tunnel again - getting more rejetions after deciding that eventually a place in the corporate might not be what I can be mentally ready for - I most definitely needed a job with a stable pay pocket, bar the uncertainties - and then ride it out...

Continually, I have more interviews and more rejections simultaneously - so as you mighy think, well, I am in this tunnel of seeking a way out of what I chose for myself - an ideal job alternate to the one I rejected before commencement...

I now only seek the blessings of the gods in getting a stable job - then which I will know what best to do when eventually, I land my hands on it.

A very belated one...so many things...from a tunnel to light to a tunnel again (Part I)

A long belated post...and I have a lot of things to catch up on...

First of all...graduation came after my final results some time ago...while nothing changed to the eventual honours I would get, there was comfort that I did myself justice by getting the best result in a semester in my entire academic tenure. One can only guess what would happen had I truly stayed as a mugger and not anything else..but anyway...

Commencement 2008 then took place on that very day...July 10...which among all things was a day which I would not forget...for so many reasons. It struck me that this would possibly be the last time which I can celebrate with my friends from which I have known throughout campus - and what I have achieved in my academic career has probably come to an end here - for which I know I will not be able to pursue an extension to that as far as I know it...

For that I express my sincere and deepest thanks to my family for their support while I pursued what I truly wanted to do...and to all my friends on campus for everything that I have learnt - the highs and lows of them...and my lecturers for making this a unique experience that I will not forget for the rest of my life...

But never would I realise how important this would be for me as I would never realise that my working life would be a lot...a lot...a lot...worse than what I prepared myself for...

More of this very soon...

A short post on this one day that comes every year

On this one day that comes every year, and I always pay attention to it like anyone else would...

First of all, I thank everyone for sending me their best wishes for hailing my 25th birthday. As some people would like to call it their quarter-life crisis, I suppose it is for me too...for various reasons I may highlight in my next post most possibly tomorrow with the best and worst things in NUS coming then as well...

But, as usual today I would put aside everything and just become myself - just for today.

As always at this moment every year, I always have 3 wishes - but this time they assume greater magnitude than I ever thought they would..so here they are:

1) Wish for the gods to bless me in whatever career I may be in...which I would decide very very soon...

2) Good results to sign off what can only be said to be a troubling academic time in NUS for all various reasons...

3) Maintain good relationships with each and everyone of you - it's much harder to catch up when we will be in work and everything else is secondary to work - that's how it always is...barring relationship commitments of course...

You might sense that for this top 3 wishes I do not include something that has been very very close to my heart - I decided that no one can force it and in any case, fate will decide what will be...and what won't be.

And for a bonus wish...

4) For my family to become much stronger and tighter in the remaining year to come - with my brother's formal wedding mitigated by other troubling things which I cannot mention here - I sincerely hope for things to improve...that would make me the happiest guy as I do not have to worry about such things anymore...

So to conclude - cheers to a happy 25th birthday for me.

=)

End of school for the final time

First of all, before I go on to the main issue...allow me to mention a word on the concluded PS Honours Dinner...

Although it was held on an April Fools' Day, no one took it for a fool's message and instead came out in force =)

Caught up with a few friends that I didn't talk to for some time and I felt extremely happy that I had the chance to talk to them...after all, to tell the truth, it's hard to see when all of us can meet again. Still, we were reminded of Falak's passing who in my personal opinion, is a loss that will be mourned by friends for a long time...

Ok, coming to the critical issue...

It's fast as this week approaches and the feeling of it being the last week of school sinks in...

I don't normally feel a lot for it except for the fact that this is indeed the last week of school as it stands for me...I don't foresee any chance of me going back to study again - not at least for the next 5 years or so.

What I want to say now is that the one thing that I miss, apart from the lessons (good and bad), assignments (relaxing and irritating and frustrating), exams, is the friends that I have made here.

That includes all of you whom I known through my 4 years on campus - your presence made things a lot easier for me as I managed to live a decent human and sometimes hilarious life on here...

For those whom I knew in JC and Secondary school years, I thank all of you too - for without you all I would not be able to form my own principles - indeed some of my own key motivations come from you guys..

For everyone whom I know then in my academic career - thank you. And I hope to meet with you guys as and when all of you are able. =)

More on what the ten best and worst things from NUS soon.

An emphatic speech of anti-elitism

Probably the most recent problem that I have in the run up to the last few weeks is the grousing that I have been launching...

As this semester winds down to an end...and I am still hunting for jobs - which I have applied for several and gotten rejections so far...I am not giving up still.

But the current plight of what I have been looking for is that my inability to get what I hope to get - and I know some of my friends have got good jobs - in CAAS, and the intelligence arm of Mindef for example... does highlight again the essence of one problem - Government service and the elitism debate.

It's one thing studying it - but another experiencing it.

I never fully understood what Prof Jon Quah meant when he taught it until I fully realise it today...

But first of all, I apologise to everyone for bearing with my grouses this week...and so very thankful that I am alive and well today.

But elitism has stung me especially bad - I know I have been heavily criticised of playing the issue of '2nd upper and non 2nd upper' issue - and since I belong to the latter, the sad factof Singapore's society is that you have to scrim for whatever advantage you have.

Just disgusted when I looked at KeppelLog - their MA scheme only called for '2nd upper and above' graduates. Same for other government ministries. And this is spreading to the private sector as well - look at the banks for example.

What that means is that the majority of non-outstanding students have to fight for whatever remaining 'ok' jobs there are on the market - and they are in the minority. What happens then - the utter discontent of an intellectual population who slogged their lives to seek a good job and end up with eggs on their faces. An article that I read on the Straits Times the day before made this point - 'Kiasuism to the max' as it is. This feeling is already getting down to JC students, and even secondary school kids as well.

What does this do to the psyche to other students, and more importantly, the coming youth generation?

'Meritocracy' - a farce! Because of it, the so-called people who can study smart and do well get good jobs and soar above everyone else. They become increasingly arrogant, sheltered, self-centred. Because they will never get to know what it means to to encounter an obstacle - like having to work through your whole life and not getting anything.

Do less academically capable people like me unfit to make big decisions for companies, firms or even the nation!

I SAY NOT!

So now I am condemning a lot of people - lecturers who are elitist and group people as high calibre and low calibre people - sadly one of my lecturers who I respected in the past does that; friends who have good academic results and have good jobs being insensitive to the concerns of the rest - again, I am very sad that I have friends who feel that way; and elites who always profess that what they are doing is for the very good of the nation...'whose good' you wonder?

I should not be grousing about this because I may be working in the public sector in some capacity - but as a fellow man on the street - or 'an ant of the masses' as I will like to call myself, how will my aims and dreams be realised in what I always feel as a 'suffocating' society like Singapore? Too bad I am not that capable of going overseas although I am looking into that option and see how I can fit in.

An NUS slogan I saw said 'You are just another statistic. But you will not be when you joiN'US.' I think it is worded that way - but the point is this:

I feel sad at the way majority of us who are not doing academically well enough just make up another statistic for studying in a 'worldwide famous' university such as NUS. And that also applies for NTU and SMU.

Go figure.

Issues to mull over

Thinking over a few issues as the countdown to the end of my last semester approaches - I don't really know whether I should be happy or sad over it...

Firstly, kudos to Hock, Shawn and Daniel for initiating the PS hons break over the mid term break - although only 8 of us came, there was still a lot of joy and laughter all the same - this was one good occassion where we managed to take swipes at some of the personalities that we like and dislike - lecturers and fellow friends... But it's all in the name of fun - and seemingly so it was a good break.

Secondly, the PS honours dinner was cancelled by the department as Harris told it to me at the start of last week. I was disgusted by the department's attitude and asked him if an alternative venue was possible. It was something that most of the cohort who knew about it were ok with - in fact some of the more quiet guys were looking forward to it. Well, at the end of the day, it was resurrected - all thanks to Harris =D, but the only thing is that the venue's changed to an informal one - but I will take it all the same =)

For all who like me are PS majors, you are invited to the dinner (in case you do not know) at:

Seoul Garden, Marina Square, 1/4/2008, 7pm.

Just let me know if you cannot contact Harris - you can find him on the school's email add or look for him thru my profile in facebook haha.

Finally, as the work intensifies, I am torn between the concentration to do good research papers and the need to look for work. It's worrying on both fronts - but the best thing I can only do is to try pushing and see where I end up. Sigh...but I will look at all avenues and see what happens. And all the best to the rest of you who are handling both crazy things like I do.

Lastly, non-personal related, but hopefully Liverpool FC can keep going on its good form - Premiership and Champions League...and the LA Lakers get the top seed in the playoffs...and..hmm...England try to resurrect their rugby fortunes in the 6 nations.

And finally, I am thinking of planning for a trip - either as a grad trip or a working holiday trip in December. Will post more details on this soon as I continue my thoughts about this.

=)

Chinese New Year - and a sombre perspective into things

Some time has passed - and indeed the arrival of the year of the rat has come - rats!

This is a particularly sombre new year that I have had had - for a few reasons...

1) Firstly, for the very first time, my reunion dinner was actually held at home - not in my ancestral home back at Malaysia this time round. It was a good experience, and this actually put reality to me that future dinners might be held this way - and I have to get accustomed to this feeling.

2) Secondly - and as a result of that - my family went back to on Chinese New Year's Day itself. This was not a good time to go in as we discover because not only was the Second Link jammed with cars (which we expected) - but that the North-South Highway was filled with cars as well. Great Gosh! As my dad drove - the car was in like a start-stop manner which could not even go above 100km/h. This really hit hard on me on whether I should buy a car especially after I got a licence recently. Perhaps not now.

3) Thirdly - the mood was somewhat sullen. Amidst the comforting news that I finally managed to meet some of my cousins whose mum had estranged their family from the annual celebrations for the past 2 years - and I was really glad to meet them again, the other news that one of my relatives is experiencing personaly problems which definitely dragged the whole extended family down totally poured cold water on the mood itself. I found myself having to keep up the positive mood and supposed happiness of the new year - but it is extremely difficult since the whole extended family is not quite in the mood to celebrate especially with something like this.

4) Lastly, I think it's just me - but I happen to think and reflect on things that have happened the past few weeks. Jobs wise, studies and graduation, friends...and of course other things to think about as well. Contrary to the enjoyment of the new year that I saw that some of my friends enjoyed this year with the visits and all, I can only say that this is a very sombre chinese new year if not anything else...

In any case, be it a blessing or an irony, ths week is also Valentine's Day week - and here's to wishing all a happy V-day =) (Doesn't matter if you are single or attached - the love of V-day is to be appreciated by all...)

Reflections on 2007...and first happenings in 2008

I think it is a little tough to cap up 2007 especially when it was one which I would largely want to forget...but here it is, 15 days after 2008 formally started:

1) Forgettable academic results throughout 2007 itself...this includes a very rough ride at the beginning and the end of 2007 itself for various reasons that are a bit too long to mention - to put it short, for personal and non-personal reasons. Whatever it is though, I just want to do well in this one remaining semester to prove to myself that I can still do well at this level.

2) New friendships! This is one problematic area which I did not address in 2006 well enough - and the comforting thing is that I have made new friends and tried to stick with them as much as I can - I cannot say how long this can go, but this is a start. Catching up with old pals was another priority that I stuck to - seriously in work, there will be little time to make new friends. The ones you already have will be your true friends you will most probably hang out with. I learnt that the hard way - work and friends do not mix together.

3) Romance - a failure this time round. I was interested in someone whom I worked with, but the only consolation was that I did not formally try to pursue her as a matter of fact. I informally knew through one of her closest friends that she had already set her heart for someone else - so...while I knew I was not the one, the comforting thing was that I did not get formally rejected due to the fact that I was a little worried about chasing her in the first place...Still, this is a regret and I will not attempt to mask it. Well, I sincerely wish her all the best in searching for a new happiness...

4) Probably the one positive event that turned out for me in my life in 2007 is SMUN 2007. Also known as the SIngapore Model United Nations 2007 Conference - I am extremely happy that it worked out despite the odds. There were a lot of people especially naysayers who poured cold water, scorn and whatever it took to bring it down - in fact I know these people and I was personally very saddened by it (one of them happens to be working in an intelliegence department in MINDEF - that of which I will say no more since that person had already graduated when SMUN 2007 came into being). Nonetheless, I am deeply thankful for everyone who stuck by my stubborness and persistence in making it happen, and the numbers that turned out made it probably the largest academic conference organised by a CCA in its own right. SMUN 2007 served to tell me one important lesson - though I had to climb up various obstacles several times, I can tell myself that I do have the steel for anything - and anything that I want to do and am given the chance to do it.

Ok, that's for a quick roundup of 2007...

To mark the start of 2008 was the informal cohort gathering among PS majors. Have been working on it with Shawn and it was a tremendous success. Both of us were only expecting like 30 odd on last count but the overall turnout of 45 of us which was half of the cohort was far larger than we had envisioned. The only downside was the food due to the fact that we acted conservatively - but the key thing was that everyone enjoyed themselves - but I apologise to Kelvin (here, for the record) for allowing him to have a little bit too much to drink.

Still, I thank everyone who came down for the gathering - it was just a bang and a good way to usher in the new semester in a good mood..

Then again which leads me to the very last issue on the agenda which is CORS - some of you may know what that is. I am personally very angered and frustrated that the department has placed a very ridiculous limit on the number of students per module on the very unrealistic assumptions on us doing theses and ISMs. And what has worsened this is that the department itself did not restrict anyone else other than us honours students in taking the modules - 3rd year students are just now flooding into various modules that has exacerbated the situation. Case example - for a particular honours module, there are 9 Year 3 students taking it! No offence to my juniors, but my perception is that some of them just want to take and 'see see'.

Well, if they want to 'see see', than most probably I will do my very best to make sure they will end up with a 'bloody nose' - and the department is at fault with that, 101%. I myself and other honours students who are trying to get into various modules which are oversuscribed are truly frustrated with this.

It looks like this semester may not be as smooth sailing as I thought.