It is so soon that the year is coming to an end... so far it has been a year which for various reasons I would like to treasure and forget...but more of that in the year end review post coming soon =)
Probably the biggest thing on my mind is my own posting issue which I dearly hope would be settled in the coming fornight - it all started in May when my bosses told me indirectly to f*** off and relocate to a new place instead - this has contributed to me thinking about moving places already. To tell the truth, I am not sure what lies ahead - but I am considering all possibilities - including that of quitting and moving elsewhere albeit in a lower position, with lower pay and stuff. It has surely been not quite what I expected and was mentally ready for. But - I will still take what chances come and make the best of them. Period. I guess it is pointless to grouse about bad bosses, backstabbing and politics - the truth is that they happen everywhere.
Now on to a personal issue which I am more concerned about than work at least - my mum's impending surgery. I am awaiting a final confirmation on when surgery will be done, and when. The fact that she may have to lie prone for some time after surgery most definitely means that I will spend the bulk of my leave to manage her recovery. For sure. Though I will sacrifice it for a year end vacation which I planned way beforehand - family matters come on top of everything else.
Some positive news - my nephew has shown rapid growth these past few months - he is already able to crawl, and is attempting to walk and talk. Just last Friday he sounded very animated when my girlfriend came along - and he was talking to her and my dad non stop - seems like he is able to call 'mum' and 'dad' soon....haha...
In the meantime, I attended the wedding of one of my best friends and mentor - I consider her a mentor as she has been advising me on a lot of things on everything - and given me a lot of support as well - I wish the best for her in a long and loving marriage. And not to forget that I went with my pals on a trip to Genting which reminded of the last time I went there was so long ago... then I realised that the poor state of Genting shows the backwardness of Malaysia in regards to Singapore's development in the past 10 years...sigh...
And as for me and my girlfriend - both of us have started to plan for other things now...things that will take shape hopefully soon. But the most important thing is that both of us have had our families' support and recognition - that will go a long way in making things better for us =D.
For some news and sports issues - here is what is on my mind the past 3-4 months:
- DPRK's leadership succession and nuclear proliferation: If KJL's son does learn the lessons of Castro's successor and wake up to realities - there may be a way out for DPRK in its international survival. But then again, some people comment that that may be hard to realise since the country has been banking on the principle of brinksmanship based on its nuclear capability... much more remains to be seen.
- Changing tide in US politics - The thrashing of the Democrats in the mid term elections shows that somehow the American people may be expecting too much too quickly out of the Obama administration. I worry that conservativeness of the people through the Republican 'Tea Party' may wreck the global leadership capability of the American economy - that remains to be seen...
- Health of MM Lee with death of his wife - I wish for the best of health of MM Lee...and sincere condolences to him for the passing of Mdm Kwa...
- Singapore Impending GE - With the redrawing of electoral boundaries to consider more SMCs, this might be a response for more electoral participation by the voters - I am sceptical of the fact that with more opposition candidates fielded, this will in turn cause a major political shift - in any sense I expect the status quo to remain due to the huge portion of the 1st and 2nd generation peoples of the nation.
- Japan-China squabble on Senkaku Islands dispute - It must be acknowledged that one day China will assert its power on this issue economically or militarily as shown on this case. China's retaliation throught the restriction of export of rare materials shows that it can now influence global economic and political power play - not to be underestimated.
- Sports Wise....here's the following:
1. Liverpool's fall from grace - Feels like it is a nightmare - but one that they are slowly climbing out of. But if its 2-0 win over Chelsea is any indication - then it should make an assault back to the top...
2. Ferrari trying to seize WDC again - If Alonso can do a Raikkonen in 2007 - he will be a genius - no less. That is because everything dumped him out of the equation save myself and the tifosi fans haha...
3. LA Lakers becoming champs and the three peat attempt, and Miami's new 3-some: The Lakers stand a good chance of the 3-peat simply because they do what they need to do - no-nonsense, and effectively.
4. Tiger Woods - Good luck to him...it may be a long while before he can get that No. 1 ranking, and his golfing swagger back - though his reputation will be in tatters foreever. It is a sobering message to remind all that moral discipline is key above all other things you do - it haunts you if you do not comply by them.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Monday, September 06, 2010
9 months...and 3 months more...
It sure is a more tiring year for 2010....in general.
Simply because of the fact that I have made less postings here than I did last year.
But now I am trying to send one here while I am taking a break off work - and it comes ironically due to my forgetfulness in bringing my wallet for lunch - but anyway...
For work now I am trying to sort things out - looking elsewhere for options here and there, but it seems like the job market is slowing down...not sure if this is because of concerns over the global economy - something tells me that we are going into economic uncertainty again. And this means that my own career is again looking to enter another rocky path. Sighz - only when I am hoping for a good way out of this - but it seems that the tunnel is getting longer again.
Probably one positive thing to happen though is my nephew - he's the bubbly guy that lights everyone up whenever he comes to visit in the weekend - Recently we had a birthday celebration for my dad which highlighted the 'star' he is - haha... but we all admit that with him around it makes things less miserable for us all.
And not to forget that I myself do have someone to talk, spend time with and love as well... Just to carry off from a few blog posts ago - yup the one who celebrated my birthday with happens to be my girlfriend...and hopefully my last. I am thankful that she is there to counsel, support and understand me these past few months - that I greatly appreciate. For without her probably I will not even know how I would have lasted until now... To her I just want to say:
' Thanks for being around with me, and for understanding, caring and supporting me always. For without you around I would not know what happiness means... and how to make the best out of everything. I wish that we can walk this road together - today, tomorrow...and as long as we can...
Love - Alvin.'
Simply because of the fact that I have made less postings here than I did last year.
But now I am trying to send one here while I am taking a break off work - and it comes ironically due to my forgetfulness in bringing my wallet for lunch - but anyway...
For work now I am trying to sort things out - looking elsewhere for options here and there, but it seems like the job market is slowing down...not sure if this is because of concerns over the global economy - something tells me that we are going into economic uncertainty again. And this means that my own career is again looking to enter another rocky path. Sighz - only when I am hoping for a good way out of this - but it seems that the tunnel is getting longer again.
Probably one positive thing to happen though is my nephew - he's the bubbly guy that lights everyone up whenever he comes to visit in the weekend - Recently we had a birthday celebration for my dad which highlighted the 'star' he is - haha... but we all admit that with him around it makes things less miserable for us all.
And not to forget that I myself do have someone to talk, spend time with and love as well... Just to carry off from a few blog posts ago - yup the one who celebrated my birthday with happens to be my girlfriend...and hopefully my last. I am thankful that she is there to counsel, support and understand me these past few months - that I greatly appreciate. For without her probably I will not even know how I would have lasted until now... To her I just want to say:
' Thanks for being around with me, and for understanding, caring and supporting me always. For without you around I would not know what happiness means... and how to make the best out of everything. I wish that we can walk this road together - today, tomorrow...and as long as we can...
Love - Alvin.'
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Thoughts...
Way into the second half of 2010 now... It has been a roller coaster ride these past few months so there definitely is a lot of food for my mind to digest, think and decide. It cannot be a more massive period of time coming to the remaining months of 2010...
Work wise it has been quite...intensive and demoralising...knowing that I am due again, and possibly the reaction to me being around has changed - I admit it is not easier to work unaffected - its so easy to say that one should try to stay professional amidst the change in opinions, relationships among colleagues in the working environment...I will just say that if this is not the case anymore - its time to look elsewhere. And I am hoping for something better.
Family wise it has not been so smooth either - with everyone experiencing more burden in the family somehow. Not to mention about family matters here, I will only say that I hope things will turn better for the rest of us - and that my nephew will probably play a big role in that somehow...
Personally the only thing going well is my relationship now - the only thing I am not in favour with is that I am not going to see her for some time...but I understand why and fully support her to do well in her studies now - its best that I do not disturb her and continue giving my moral support. My dear, if you are reading this, by the time I see you again - there will be a big surprise for you =D Haha....
Life has its ups and downs - I am hoping only for the better in general - and nothing more.
May the gods bless us all for the rest of what can be said to be a challenging year...
Work wise it has been quite...intensive and demoralising...knowing that I am due again, and possibly the reaction to me being around has changed - I admit it is not easier to work unaffected - its so easy to say that one should try to stay professional amidst the change in opinions, relationships among colleagues in the working environment...I will just say that if this is not the case anymore - its time to look elsewhere. And I am hoping for something better.
Family wise it has not been so smooth either - with everyone experiencing more burden in the family somehow. Not to mention about family matters here, I will only say that I hope things will turn better for the rest of us - and that my nephew will probably play a big role in that somehow...
Personally the only thing going well is my relationship now - the only thing I am not in favour with is that I am not going to see her for some time...but I understand why and fully support her to do well in her studies now - its best that I do not disturb her and continue giving my moral support. My dear, if you are reading this, by the time I see you again - there will be a big surprise for you =D Haha....
Life has its ups and downs - I am hoping only for the better in general - and nothing more.
May the gods bless us all for the rest of what can be said to be a challenging year...
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Is it time to...?
Coming to mid 2010...it seems that there are a few questions along the line of 'is it time to...' that I must answer - here's all of them?
Is it time to...
a. 'Look for another job?'
Good question - I come to ask myself this question as I realise that I am giving everyone in the office the wrong impression of myself. I was told by one of my buddies that I am showing everyone the 'I am stressed and do not disturb me' look. This is rather very frustrating - in fact I just do not believe in smiling and talking nonsense and stuff during work. Rather, I prefer not to talk about other things rather than work because there is a time for everything. Somehow keeping a straight face seems to incite other interpretations from other people. Though I am still learning things and may make mistakes, but then to say that I am stressed as a result is a bit strange. To add on to this, things have been rather untenable between myself and my boss - it just means that I may have to look for greener pastures and to quit gracefully before things rather go ugly. I can see that happening in a few months...so I guess I answered my own question for this one.
b. 'Allocate more time to do more different things?'
Another question which is quite hard to pin an answer to. Things that have occured in the past one and a half months since have been huge - my nephew getting older; my younger brother awaiting his graduation, and with good results too; and not to forget myself having someone to answer to =). Of course this derails things a bit from my own resolutions, and I have to restring things a bit to 'get back on track' - there are still a few things that must be done. On top of that I still have the unpleasant task of RT - so time is hard to allocate and disburse. Damn - I have no idea where to start on that one.
c. 'Think of myself more?'
This question rathers makes me more narcissitic if I say yes, but if I say no others think that I am too good - and I am being taken for granted. Increasingly I have been sleeping more on my chair when I get back from work and check my emails or listen to music - so much so that I have to be woken up to get to bed and only to get sores in the next morning. I also have to start thinking about doing more things that will affect me directly more - check my expenditure, check my fitness, check my obligations...
This surely guarantees an unpredictable 6 months to come. Next up, I will see if I can decide on my holiday destinations...for now it will be a shootout between Auckland and Istanbul...
=)
Is it time to...
a. 'Look for another job?'
Good question - I come to ask myself this question as I realise that I am giving everyone in the office the wrong impression of myself. I was told by one of my buddies that I am showing everyone the 'I am stressed and do not disturb me' look. This is rather very frustrating - in fact I just do not believe in smiling and talking nonsense and stuff during work. Rather, I prefer not to talk about other things rather than work because there is a time for everything. Somehow keeping a straight face seems to incite other interpretations from other people. Though I am still learning things and may make mistakes, but then to say that I am stressed as a result is a bit strange. To add on to this, things have been rather untenable between myself and my boss - it just means that I may have to look for greener pastures and to quit gracefully before things rather go ugly. I can see that happening in a few months...so I guess I answered my own question for this one.
b. 'Allocate more time to do more different things?'
Another question which is quite hard to pin an answer to. Things that have occured in the past one and a half months since have been huge - my nephew getting older; my younger brother awaiting his graduation, and with good results too; and not to forget myself having someone to answer to =). Of course this derails things a bit from my own resolutions, and I have to restring things a bit to 'get back on track' - there are still a few things that must be done. On top of that I still have the unpleasant task of RT - so time is hard to allocate and disburse. Damn - I have no idea where to start on that one.
c. 'Think of myself more?'
This question rathers makes me more narcissitic if I say yes, but if I say no others think that I am too good - and I am being taken for granted. Increasingly I have been sleeping more on my chair when I get back from work and check my emails or listen to music - so much so that I have to be woken up to get to bed and only to get sores in the next morning. I also have to start thinking about doing more things that will affect me directly more - check my expenditure, check my fitness, check my obligations...
This surely guarantees an unpredictable 6 months to come. Next up, I will see if I can decide on my holiday destinations...for now it will be a shootout between Auckland and Istanbul...
=)
Monday, April 26, 2010
An update...and birthday wishes...
It has been a while since I posted something here...it is probably a true reflection of how much work has taken out of me personally - and that is something that I do not like actually...
But life's never a bed of roses - so there it is. So here I am, updating now from my home on my birthday which I earned an off day from my boss =)
To start off with work - work has not been easy these past few months. In fact, more than anything else, it has rather intensified... such to the extent that I am probably accumulating backlog and facing a race to clear it. It probably strikes me now that I have the chance to stop and think if I am suitable for the job I am doing. One of my colleagues told me that its very obvious because 'if you believe in it, it will just happen' - and the same applies if it somehow 'does not fit me'. I know where I stand, just that now I am trying my best to do well while keeping my options open. That's the best thing I can do for now...
Of course in between I celebrated my promotion, had a dispute with my boss, had to deal with new entrants and the like... its has been a time of ups and downs really.
And it is not June yet. Hope for better things to come...
Personally, the same can be said for things at home. Deservedly the key highlight is the coming of my nephew a few weeks ago - our whole family was going jumping happy and crazy with his arrival. A cute, chubby, and very very intelligent boy - I admit that I am stunned by his intelligence...just a month old and he can start to recognise voices, and knows when we talk bad about him - he just refuses to drink and make a scene - a headache for everyone. But the joy is that he is trying to talk - and we are all going to make sure it happens sooner than later =)
In the meantime, I am trying to widen my social circle by doing more things...in the midst of taking care of my mum who just underwent minor surgery and me not passing my IPPT (rats!) - I am squeezing some classes in cooking and malay which I would be doing in the months ahead...
And of course my remedial training...no choice about it...
So then just 2 days ago I rounded off my birthday celebrations with a dinner with a friend of mine whom I just met recently (how we met I am not going to reveal hahaha) and I was touched when we ended off with a small cake celebration that she prepared =D. And a picture to round it off - I will post it up on facebook soon.
To her - and I know you are reading this - thanks for making this a wonderful celebration that I will never forget.
To round it off - here is my one wish for this whole year:
*Wish for happiness, stability and good health to myself, my family, my friends, and my loved ones* - everything else is a bonus...
But life's never a bed of roses - so there it is. So here I am, updating now from my home on my birthday which I earned an off day from my boss =)
To start off with work - work has not been easy these past few months. In fact, more than anything else, it has rather intensified... such to the extent that I am probably accumulating backlog and facing a race to clear it. It probably strikes me now that I have the chance to stop and think if I am suitable for the job I am doing. One of my colleagues told me that its very obvious because 'if you believe in it, it will just happen' - and the same applies if it somehow 'does not fit me'. I know where I stand, just that now I am trying my best to do well while keeping my options open. That's the best thing I can do for now...
Of course in between I celebrated my promotion, had a dispute with my boss, had to deal with new entrants and the like... its has been a time of ups and downs really.
And it is not June yet. Hope for better things to come...
Personally, the same can be said for things at home. Deservedly the key highlight is the coming of my nephew a few weeks ago - our whole family was going jumping happy and crazy with his arrival. A cute, chubby, and very very intelligent boy - I admit that I am stunned by his intelligence...just a month old and he can start to recognise voices, and knows when we talk bad about him - he just refuses to drink and make a scene - a headache for everyone. But the joy is that he is trying to talk - and we are all going to make sure it happens sooner than later =)
In the meantime, I am trying to widen my social circle by doing more things...in the midst of taking care of my mum who just underwent minor surgery and me not passing my IPPT (rats!) - I am squeezing some classes in cooking and malay which I would be doing in the months ahead...
And of course my remedial training...no choice about it...
So then just 2 days ago I rounded off my birthday celebrations with a dinner with a friend of mine whom I just met recently (how we met I am not going to reveal hahaha) and I was touched when we ended off with a small cake celebration that she prepared =D. And a picture to round it off - I will post it up on facebook soon.
To her - and I know you are reading this - thanks for making this a wonderful celebration that I will never forget.
To round it off - here is my one wish for this whole year:
*Wish for happiness, stability and good health to myself, my family, my friends, and my loved ones* - everything else is a bonus...
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Emotional Unsteadiness
I always thought that I would be able to ride out any emotional unsteadiness that I am experiencing... then I thought I was...
But then I realised that being emotionally weak happens to be my Achilles heel...among all other things..
The last few months have been a huge emotional ride as either by chance, or by fate, I had somewhat tasted the sweetness, bitterness and the after-taste of romance... what it means to be in and outside of it...
My own experiences have since forced me to take a step back, while now in emotional distress over what and how I should be doing... But then I realised just a few things about myself that I have to accept and consider...
For one, I have to admit that I am probably a simple and yet open-minded guy on finding the ideal one - probably this may explain why my previous interests have been ladies with quite complex backgrounds...be it by choice or cirsumstance. But then it has placed huge emotional stress on myself trying to manage these expectations - so that has always been a tricky issue...
Secondly, certainly I need to learn to be selfish...I guess I haven't - although I will stick to my philosophy that so long as the one that I am interested in enjoys herself on the things we are doing, and me being happy - I think I will have to make my stand known to her as well...so long as the occassion happens because it is her initiative...
Thirdly, nothing is a constant in life - and that applies as well in relationships. But then in relationships there happens to be one constant - opposites attract. And it is key that one maintains who he is, and what he does because that I personally feel is how good relationships work - there have to be some acceptable constants each must accept each other for in order to make it work... retaining one's personality and principles despite the ever-changing circumstances is important. However, if the one I am looking for criticises me for my failings, then of course the answer is without saying that I will have to change - not just for her, nor myself, but for us.
Right now you can probably guess that I am undergoing some sort of emotional rehabilitation...but I will not lose hope.
But then I realised that being emotionally weak happens to be my Achilles heel...among all other things..
The last few months have been a huge emotional ride as either by chance, or by fate, I had somewhat tasted the sweetness, bitterness and the after-taste of romance... what it means to be in and outside of it...
My own experiences have since forced me to take a step back, while now in emotional distress over what and how I should be doing... But then I realised just a few things about myself that I have to accept and consider...
For one, I have to admit that I am probably a simple and yet open-minded guy on finding the ideal one - probably this may explain why my previous interests have been ladies with quite complex backgrounds...be it by choice or cirsumstance. But then it has placed huge emotional stress on myself trying to manage these expectations - so that has always been a tricky issue...
Secondly, certainly I need to learn to be selfish...I guess I haven't - although I will stick to my philosophy that so long as the one that I am interested in enjoys herself on the things we are doing, and me being happy - I think I will have to make my stand known to her as well...so long as the occassion happens because it is her initiative...
Thirdly, nothing is a constant in life - and that applies as well in relationships. But then in relationships there happens to be one constant - opposites attract. And it is key that one maintains who he is, and what he does because that I personally feel is how good relationships work - there have to be some acceptable constants each must accept each other for in order to make it work... retaining one's personality and principles despite the ever-changing circumstances is important. However, if the one I am looking for criticises me for my failings, then of course the answer is without saying that I will have to change - not just for her, nor myself, but for us.
Right now you can probably guess that I am undergoing some sort of emotional rehabilitation...but I will not lose hope.
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