Stubborness

It is a sensitive word...it can mean good and bad.

I was thinking about this after a comment the day before on my previous post.

All I can say is, while I can say that I am stubborn at times, I am not totally stubborn as someone put it. If that's the case, I guess I would have been 'slaughtered' a long time ago.

While obstinacy is bad, it can also be good as well. After all, it is far better than someone who just goes with the wind, has no comments on literally anything, and just lives by the day. Because to do that gives that person no purpose in life, and makes him a bigger failure than others.

It must also be understood that in determination, a portion of that comes from the stubborness in not giving in, in not hearing hearsay, in not hearing derogatory words thrown or actions cast in your direction. It is about doing it whatever the cost because we know the ultimate good of doing it.

Nothing can be achieved if we always suit ourselves to the interests' of others. It will get us nowhere.

I believe that while I know I have angered a lot of people because of my stubborness, I do it because I know it is right. And I am vindicated as such by the events that have gone that way and my knowing that they would have gone worse if not done so. Of course, there are situations where it backfired, but I will live with it.

The only thing I can do is to remove the bad part of my stubborness, which is to be more partial. But not to remove the good part of my stubborness which is my drive to doing whatever it takes to make something good. Because that's the very basis of my willpower.

The truth that is me

Indeed, the posts that I have put up for the last few days have attracted more than enough attention already...

As I know that my biggest weakness is lack of being more sensitive, understanding, and more forgiving, I am not very happy at the derogatory terms that have been thrown at me so far.

But I understand where these comments have come from, and I appreciate them coming. Because they are protective of their friends, and are entitled to do so. However, we each have different views on this matter, and that is what I want to say. I reiterate: I am willing to talk about it if anybody wants to.

For everything that I do, I carry no pretensions and do what I have set out to do.

With that I am content. And that is the way I will carry out myself in the future, no matter what others say of me.

I can only say this: I have learnt some lessons after some key moments in my life, and I will learn them as I walk on the road of life. After all, the road to being a complete person is never ending. I will continue to be honest, frank, sincere and humble. As I learnt a few days ago, I cannot please everybody, and must take everything in my stride. To accomodate everybody is to shoot myself in the foot in the end.

People who are hoping that I will close my blog because if these comments can dream on. Because to do means I am guilty. I am not guilty of any crime, and so I will not do this. I will still write the stories that are part of my life.

Interpretations and Misinterpretations

As a note to the previous post, some replies must be made:

First of all, the views that are being expressed are solely of what I can see from the third point of view where I stand. Hence, as I always said that at some issues this is where I am looking at, and I thank all of you guys who have criticised me as such. As also, I admit that my view is rather inadequate of the issue at hand, and I apologise to the person whom I am indicating at for having any misunderstandings about her in the end. I got a very fair explanation from one of them who knows her well and I am convinced that my views has not given that person fair justice.

It seems that I have really misunderstood her, and if anything, it still seems that for the project concerned, she indeed had the passion to drive on. But being the cautious and apprehensive person that I am at times, I am the first to say that I was never convinced about her fully because I cannot understand her actions at times. Perhaps there is something under that, but I will leave things as it is. If I am being given the chance to know her side of the issue better, I am all ears. Otherwise, I apologise that my views have offended her, I admit that, but I still want to say that her actions since school reopened have confounded me at the very least, hence leading to my interpretations about her.

I have to say that that's the price because I am a very straightforward person as I comment on what I see, and I do not want to believe in rumours and explanations partly because I cannot see it. If I can see it, then it is very obvious to how a certain person can be interpreted.

I admit that my assessment of the person concerned is unfair because it is very narrow minded as it is just from my point of view, and to that I am at fault.

Another lesson on perception bias, but that will not stop me from being blunt still. Because being plain honest is the way I am, and I know that it will take a lot of me to be not straightforward. Something I must work on again and again...

Passion...

What is passion?

Passion is something that we do because we truly have the interest for it, and we do it with only one thing: to se our dreams come true with why we started in the first place. Results do not matter, and the love of what we do and believe in sustains us through the difficult moments of what we do.

I was just thinking about it because I am pretty disgusted by some people whose actions have made me very angry and stupid. Angry because they have stepped over devoted people like us to achieve things which did not arise out of their passion; stupid because people like me have been taken for a ride by them because we have always been willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, only to be 'eaten up' by them.

One of them, is one that I had vehemently criticised in a previous post some time ago, and while I have mended fences with her, I will like to say that, for some things, I can understand. But to forgive and forget? The answer is no. For forgiving and forgetting is to deride my own moral principles and lower my integrity. No way I can do that.

The other, is one whom I always wanted to say that I was right about deciding this person, but no one chose to believe me. In an event organised where there was a gathering of seniors and freshmen, she was around and did not even want to look at us. When I did say hi to her, she gave a very nonchalant reply and walked out with her friend who was an ex committee member. It says everything I was right about her from the start. In all, this person who took over the project, so integral to everything that I saw when I started university life never had the passion AT ALL. She, like the previous person, exploited it solely to advance her political agendas. Fortunately, she did not succeed as the right team came up in strength and sent her reeling because she thought that achieving her objectives would be a piece of cake once the project was ended.

Food for thought? Sure is, and the moral of the story: Do something because you are passionate, and not because you see the material benefits of doing it. Having anything else other than that makes you a damn selfish person, and I have no room for selfish people. Period.