As 2009 wraps up...there have been a lot of ups and downs...
There have been a lot of things that I have experienced this whole year...quite a lot of firsts...but I probably will recount them tomorrow as I need to be extremely coherent to write them all...
But in tradition to my own principles...or idiosyncracies... as usual here's my ten resolutions for 2010. Unlike previous years, these 10 will be crucial as fulfilling them will probably determine whether the rest of my life will be good or miserable...
Here we go...
1. Be an effective planner for everything - always consider the beginning, the process and the end - and what must be done.
2. Be more effective in my job - which means fulfilling increasing responsibilities amidst changes
3. Fulfill responsibilities to family and friends...
4. Sort my own emotional commitments...
5. Participate in more social activities and personal improvement skills, including:
- cooking
- sports skills(tennis, squash?)
- marathons (looking at adidas sundown and standard chartered)
- music classes (guitars?)
- languages (malay may be a start...)
6. Lose weight
7. Update my blog every 2 weeks...
8. Plan for a better vacation - Tibet or Taiwan will be my destination depending on what happens for the year...
9. Always ask and be not afraid of criticism - I suppose I still linking do not know to incompetency...
10. Be more optimistic while retaining the current pragmatism - i.e. living by the 'ant of the masses' philosophy...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The Vietnamese Experience...13th-18th December 2009
I think it is without a doubt that the trip to Vietnam (congrats to you if you managed to figure out the country in my last post) was immense – in the right and wrong ways… but I managed to think over a lot of things in the midst of appreciating the trip itself…
It is hard to describe everything that happened in the past 6D5N I was there – but then I would try as best possible to…
Prof did not feel good then – so he took the bike back up the hotel, while Thomas, Kimberly and myself walk the way back – but what we didn’t know as part of the climb back was a near 75 degree shortcut climb which was extremely dangerous – Kimberly definitely did not enjoy it to the very least and Thomas and I took turns to watch her back while we scaled up – I swore we were cursing when we did reach the summit which we climbed more than 300m up – the scariest one I did under any circumstances…
'So much for the climb'...
All of us eventually wrapped up with dinner and an early rest for the night.
But that is where things did not exactly go well for the second day in Sapa as Kimberly sprained her ankle in an awkward way and fell thrice…the walk down to the Lao Cai village was much more treacherous than I thought and while the views were much more breathtaking – including one of the tribal aunties who followed us all the way – I cut short the journey myself and ended the trip around lunch to give ourselves time to rest and recover. In the process, I got a foot masseuse to tend to Kimberly’s ankle and it slightly improved. But to make things worse, we missed the night train – no thanks to me misreading the ticket – we should have left earlier, and instead got on another train back no thanks to a tout – I was severely berated in the process by all and I had nothing to say about it. There I think ruined the whole trip in my own opinion.
What next then? Perhaps a trip to Taipei which the sights and sounds can be better accommodated within less strenuous circumstances would be better – but I am personally also looking to Tibet for my own personal exploration – after all, I felt most at peace with the mountains…. While also appreciating the fact that I am also quite a city kid after all…
Finding the best of both worlds in city and nature’s enjoyment is difficult in a tour – but Hanoi will live in my heart – for all the things I have seen, done and enjoyed in the process.
A good trip to a good socialist country. =D
P.S. The photos will come in later days due to the huge memory in uploading so therefore the complete post with the pictures will be up by the end of the week latest. In the meantime, stay tuned to my facebook profile as I am putting pictures up there as well – there will be some overlaps…
It is hard to describe everything that happened in the past 6D5N I was there – but then I would try as best possible to…
As of any trip – it has to start with the take off from Changi – we took a three and half hour flight to Noi Bai Airport in Hanoi – but before that we ate something from Popeye at T1 before we flew…
'Good Meal before the flight...'
Upon arrival at Noi Bai my assumption of it being a decently managed airport of a good socialist country was realized – in every sense of the word. Seeing uniformed officers all around clearing our immigration to providing security for us made me think that we were in a military rather than a civilian airport – not sure if that was the Vietnamese government’s intention… With then that we headed on our move to our hotel in Hanoi which took 1 hour – with me sitting at the front tasting for myself first hand the traffic of Vietnam – horning was the way to get around incessant motorbikes which were crazy – and vehicles were cutting across traffic lights like no other…
'The 4 of us taking a photo after landing at Noi Bai Airport
Due to the late arrival – we checked in for a short while around 30 mins before going off on our train ride to Lao Cai village which then we would be transported by minivan to our hotel in Sapa for our first 2D2N stay in Sapa… quite a train ride as I relived my young days of taking the train ride… exhilarating and me and my friends spent time playing card games and talking stuff to spend the time. But one thing for sure – I sure did not like sleeping on the train as the ride was much more bumpy than I thought. And I had not adjusted well to the 1 hour time differential between Hanoi and Singapore yet…
We finally reached Lao Cai after a 8 hour 30 min ride – I swore it was very tiring…and then we just managed to haul ourselves on the minivan to Sapa which took another hour…so by the time we reached it was about 8am in Sapa... we took a long overdue breakfast which was refreshingly good to say the least.
We finally reached Lao Cai after a 8 hour 30 min ride – I swore it was very tiring…and then we just managed to haul ourselves on the minivan to Sapa which took another hour…so by the time we reached it was about 8am in Sapa... we took a long overdue breakfast which was refreshingly good to say the least.
'Outside Sapa Summit Hotel...the Homg tribal people at the background were to harass us for $ throughout our stay...'
Subsequently we then started our walk of Cat Cat village as day 1 of the Sapa tour began…it was quite a walk down to the village. We got served first hand of the ‘hospitality’ of the Hmong people as they walked with us – but with the ulterior motive of getting us to buy their stuff – I vehemently refused because I knew I would be fleeced like no one’s business… but the walk down was very smooth and the scenery was majestic – especially of the mountain ranges. In the midst we took time to explore Sapa itself and managed to see the common area in there – a small courtyard of sorts which also served as a pasar malam, and recreational area as well.
'The Common Area of Sapa'...
We managed to view some of the Hmong artifacts that the local women made – it was then that I learnt from the guide that only boys were sent to school to study which they would grow up to do businesses and toil the lands. Of the plantations present all around, different crops were grown in different times – bamboo and wheat in summer, and rice and indigo in the winter like now…
In the house of a Hmong family, it is worst than I thought – the rooms of the couple and their 10 children were very scary – cannot compare even to the conditions in my hometown which I thought were bad enough…
In the house of a Hmong family, it is worst than I thought – the rooms of the couple and their 10 children were very scary – cannot compare even to the conditions in my hometown which I thought were bad enough…
The indigo plantations...
'The kitchen of a Hmong family...'
We managed to reach the waterfall which was a breathtaking sight – considering the fact that it came down from the mountains which we walked down from. We also managed to eat the delicacy of pork satay which came from the pigs in the area which fed on plants alone – a great treat to say the least.
'All of us at the waterfall at the end of the downward walk'
'Pork Satay anyone?'
Prof did not feel good then – so he took the bike back up the hotel, while Thomas, Kimberly and myself walk the way back – but what we didn’t know as part of the climb back was a near 75 degree shortcut climb which was extremely dangerous – Kimberly definitely did not enjoy it to the very least and Thomas and I took turns to watch her back while we scaled up – I swore we were cursing when we did reach the summit which we climbed more than 300m up – the scariest one I did under any circumstances…
'So much for the climb'...
After our trip back to the hotel, we took time to relax, and then walked down to the common area in Sapa which we hoped to visit the Stone Cathedral – but to our disappointment it was closed due to ongoing renovations. Prof needed to go for a massage so Thomas waited for him…while Kimberly and myself went on our way back to the hotel – we stopped by a café on the way back and had drinks and cheesecake for only 6 bucks – a good deal =)
All of us eventually wrapped up with dinner and an early rest for the night.
But that is where things did not exactly go well for the second day in Sapa as Kimberly sprained her ankle in an awkward way and fell thrice…the walk down to the Lao Cai village was much more treacherous than I thought and while the views were much more breathtaking – including one of the tribal aunties who followed us all the way – I cut short the journey myself and ended the trip around lunch to give ourselves time to rest and recover. In the process, I got a foot masseuse to tend to Kimberly’s ankle and it slightly improved. But to make things worse, we missed the night train – no thanks to me misreading the ticket – we should have left earlier, and instead got on another train back no thanks to a tout – I was severely berated in the process by all and I had nothing to say about it. There I think ruined the whole trip in my own opinion.
'View of the river from the mountain which I was at... - amd after two hours of crazy trekking....'
Everyone otherwise, tired and stunned by the way we got on the train back to Hanoi from Lao Cai, rested on the way back – as for myself I did not say anything more as I knew I had permanently made the trip not so enjoyable for everyone. Upon arrival we reached back at the hotel, had breakfast and were on our way to our day tour of Halong Bay.
The trip to Halong Bay consisted of a 3 hour 30 min minivan ride – which we slept most of the way due to our exhaustion from the night’s ride…but the scenery that greeted us at Halong City was magnificent. I was stunned by numerous rock formations that came up – some were as large as mini islands and others as tall as probably Mount Faber itself. There were also some which assumed different shapes and formations – I shall let these pictures describe to you what I think of them…
After a good lunch on the junk – we disembarked and walked in and around the Amazing Limestone Cave and saw the numerous shapes of limestone rock deposits in the cave itself. As only one of the 1000 such caves in Halong Bay – the numerous shapes took my breath away and everyone of us was quite trigger happy – we took numerous pictures of the cave as we walked around. Unfortunately my camera was not up to the task as the lack of light crippled its ability to get most of the stones in it.
As none of us were in the mood for kayaking, we took pictures around the fishing village near the cave before heading back – I wondered how these people could make a living on these waters and still survive – one of the pictures I got shows a family in there…that adds to my sympathy of these people and admiration of their will to survive despite the harshest conditions…
All of us headed back to the junk and back to Halong City which we took the minivan back – I bought some souvenirs back to office and home which hopefully can satisfy my parents and all of the folks on Monday when I see them… We ended up in Hanoi around 8pm which we had a very satisfying dinner at a small western café run by a small family – good money’s worth… We then went back to have a good rest for the night.
We then wrapped up our tour with a day’s visit of Hanoi – the probable highlight was the visit of the HCM mausoleum where Ho Chi Minh was buried and preserved – in all cases exhibits glorifying him took a morning for us to explore – the entire space dedicated to him was at least twice the size of the Istana – massive! I let the pictures below tell you the story…
In the midst we visited a few temples including the First University of Vietnam, and ended up with a tour of Museum of Ethnology. It was also then which we took time to further understand the Hmong tribe we saw at Sapa, and took pictures of the various artifacts and houses which different tribes of Vietnam stayed in…
In all, we ended with a good ending dinner which I led all the wrong way, and Kimberly took the matters into her own hands – thankfully. And of course with dessert which was ice cream for all of us – and that’s how things ended on the last night of Hanoi. As for myself, I downed a bottle of Hanoi vodka with Thomas – the only liquor I drank the entire trip.
Finally, on the 18th morning, which being the final morning – I woke up early to help Kimberly settle down to take her early flight to Cambodia…and did not sleep after that as I wanted to as Thomas and the Prof subsequently woke up when I came up – the trio of us took breakfast and then took the transport back to Noi Bai Airport – for home. As I took the remaining pictures on the way to the airport, and before the flight itself – I took time to think about the trip and what might have been…
In hindsight, it was not quite good planning from myself which ruined the trip in Sapa – and my blurness which almost sabotaged everyone in general… but then as I realized that these mistakes must be addressed to make future trips with friends enjoyable, I also realized that in all cases I need to consider everyone’s mindset about what they want from the trip… I must admit myself not giving adequate consideration to their requests as much as they did not ask of me for the trip. Ultimately I betrayed their trust.
To Thomas, Yong Keong and especially Kimberly, I seek your apologies and forgiveness for all inconveniences throughout Vietnam… but as I mentioned in my final comments during the final dinner – I hope all of you enjoyed Hanoi and its sights nonetheless…
And that ends my own reflections to Hanoi.
The trip to Halong Bay consisted of a 3 hour 30 min minivan ride – which we slept most of the way due to our exhaustion from the night’s ride…but the scenery that greeted us at Halong City was magnificent. I was stunned by numerous rock formations that came up – some were as large as mini islands and others as tall as probably Mount Faber itself. There were also some which assumed different shapes and formations – I shall let these pictures describe to you what I think of them…
After a good lunch on the junk – we disembarked and walked in and around the Amazing Limestone Cave and saw the numerous shapes of limestone rock deposits in the cave itself. As only one of the 1000 such caves in Halong Bay – the numerous shapes took my breath away and everyone of us was quite trigger happy – we took numerous pictures of the cave as we walked around. Unfortunately my camera was not up to the task as the lack of light crippled its ability to get most of the stones in it.
As none of us were in the mood for kayaking, we took pictures around the fishing village near the cave before heading back – I wondered how these people could make a living on these waters and still survive – one of the pictures I got shows a family in there…that adds to my sympathy of these people and admiration of their will to survive despite the harshest conditions…
All of us headed back to the junk and back to Halong City which we took the minivan back – I bought some souvenirs back to office and home which hopefully can satisfy my parents and all of the folks on Monday when I see them… We ended up in Hanoi around 8pm which we had a very satisfying dinner at a small western café run by a small family – good money’s worth… We then went back to have a good rest for the night.
We then wrapped up our tour with a day’s visit of Hanoi – the probable highlight was the visit of the HCM mausoleum where Ho Chi Minh was buried and preserved – in all cases exhibits glorifying him took a morning for us to explore – the entire space dedicated to him was at least twice the size of the Istana – massive! I let the pictures below tell you the story…
In the midst we visited a few temples including the First University of Vietnam, and ended up with a tour of Museum of Ethnology. It was also then which we took time to further understand the Hmong tribe we saw at Sapa, and took pictures of the various artifacts and houses which different tribes of Vietnam stayed in…
In all, we ended with a good ending dinner which I led all the wrong way, and Kimberly took the matters into her own hands – thankfully. And of course with dessert which was ice cream for all of us – and that’s how things ended on the last night of Hanoi. As for myself, I downed a bottle of Hanoi vodka with Thomas – the only liquor I drank the entire trip.
Finally, on the 18th morning, which being the final morning – I woke up early to help Kimberly settle down to take her early flight to Cambodia…and did not sleep after that as I wanted to as Thomas and the Prof subsequently woke up when I came up – the trio of us took breakfast and then took the transport back to Noi Bai Airport – for home. As I took the remaining pictures on the way to the airport, and before the flight itself – I took time to think about the trip and what might have been…
In hindsight, it was not quite good planning from myself which ruined the trip in Sapa – and my blurness which almost sabotaged everyone in general… but then as I realized that these mistakes must be addressed to make future trips with friends enjoyable, I also realized that in all cases I need to consider everyone’s mindset about what they want from the trip… I must admit myself not giving adequate consideration to their requests as much as they did not ask of me for the trip. Ultimately I betrayed their trust.
To Thomas, Yong Keong and especially Kimberly, I seek your apologies and forgiveness for all inconveniences throughout Vietnam… but as I mentioned in my final comments during the final dinner – I hope all of you enjoyed Hanoi and its sights nonetheless…
And that ends my own reflections to Hanoi.
What next then? Perhaps a trip to Taipei which the sights and sounds can be better accommodated within less strenuous circumstances would be better – but I am personally also looking to Tibet for my own personal exploration – after all, I felt most at peace with the mountains…. While also appreciating the fact that I am also quite a city kid after all…
Finding the best of both worlds in city and nature’s enjoyment is difficult in a tour – but Hanoi will live in my heart – for all the things I have seen, done and enjoyed in the process.
A good trip to a good socialist country. =D
P.S. The photos will come in later days due to the huge memory in uploading so therefore the complete post with the pictures will be up by the end of the week latest. In the meantime, stay tuned to my facebook profile as I am putting pictures up there as well – there will be some overlaps…
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Some things change...and some things don't...
In the 3 months since the last post, a lot of things have happened. Yet, as some things change, I also realise that some things don't as well...
These changes also come with huge consequences which I also subsequently realised...
Work wise, the changes that have happened have also increased...with a looming reorganisation coming within months, a new structure has been thrown upon myself and the entire branch - some will stay where they are, others move...in this case I belong to the latter. My own desire is to continue what I am doing now - I do not like the fact that I have to unlearn and relearn things when I have not even fully mastered what I know in my current scope...so that's what it is... But, if somehow I have to move again, then my own determination in making the best out of everything will have to push me through again... I have to say on record though that one thing that makes the incoming adjustment bearable will be my own colleagues especially in my own section that will help me through...
Some say its all about the timing of coming into an organisation which can either make things smooth sailing, or hit you the hardest...I can say that for a guy like me who will certain appeciates some certainty first this is surely uncomfortable in a way or another...
Yet, time waits for no man...so hmm...
But thankfully some things change also for the better...the fact that I am soon going to be an uncle soon is a good thing - all the joy and busy things to welcome the arrival of the 3rd generation in the family means that I am also chipping in my own fair share of things...which I am more than happy at doing.
On the other side of the coin, some things don't change as well...and whether they are good or bad remains to be seen...
A reunion with some of my pals over a dinner last month was a good thing...especially seeing that all of us are all employed with work to do is a great bonus. But even then, there are still some changes...for example a particular guy friend of mine has seemed to become more arrogant because of his job and his love for it...so much so that he inadvertently brags to the rest of us about it... Weizhen has had more engagements due to her fame in 'Superband'...can't be helped...
In the meantime, I am also trying to plan for a short vacation which I am getting seniors and juniors on board...most likely there will be 5 of us which one of them will be our guide...
There was an old gathering of ex schoolmates during the wedding of one of our classmates...which I ask myself why things have not changed for myself while for the others it seems to go all so well for them...either they have achieved tangible or intangible rewards while it seems that for me I am just another guy on the street...
Which brings me back to square one really. Can I still be who I am - the accomodating, teasable guy on and off work and yet not having achieved anything significant...?
I guess that question was decided for me when one of my best buddies got attached herself - and she told me think things over...
So I guess that's it then... if so, I must go back and work on unfinished things for 2009 so that 2010 will be a better year.
More updates coming soon on my future vacation...btw if you want a clue on where I am travelling...here's one:
- Like Egypt, it has a famous river delta as a key tourist attraction.
=)
These changes also come with huge consequences which I also subsequently realised...
Work wise, the changes that have happened have also increased...with a looming reorganisation coming within months, a new structure has been thrown upon myself and the entire branch - some will stay where they are, others move...in this case I belong to the latter. My own desire is to continue what I am doing now - I do not like the fact that I have to unlearn and relearn things when I have not even fully mastered what I know in my current scope...so that's what it is... But, if somehow I have to move again, then my own determination in making the best out of everything will have to push me through again... I have to say on record though that one thing that makes the incoming adjustment bearable will be my own colleagues especially in my own section that will help me through...
Some say its all about the timing of coming into an organisation which can either make things smooth sailing, or hit you the hardest...I can say that for a guy like me who will certain appeciates some certainty first this is surely uncomfortable in a way or another...
Yet, time waits for no man...so hmm...
But thankfully some things change also for the better...the fact that I am soon going to be an uncle soon is a good thing - all the joy and busy things to welcome the arrival of the 3rd generation in the family means that I am also chipping in my own fair share of things...which I am more than happy at doing.
On the other side of the coin, some things don't change as well...and whether they are good or bad remains to be seen...
A reunion with some of my pals over a dinner last month was a good thing...especially seeing that all of us are all employed with work to do is a great bonus. But even then, there are still some changes...for example a particular guy friend of mine has seemed to become more arrogant because of his job and his love for it...so much so that he inadvertently brags to the rest of us about it... Weizhen has had more engagements due to her fame in 'Superband'...can't be helped...
In the meantime, I am also trying to plan for a short vacation which I am getting seniors and juniors on board...most likely there will be 5 of us which one of them will be our guide...
There was an old gathering of ex schoolmates during the wedding of one of our classmates...which I ask myself why things have not changed for myself while for the others it seems to go all so well for them...either they have achieved tangible or intangible rewards while it seems that for me I am just another guy on the street...
Which brings me back to square one really. Can I still be who I am - the accomodating, teasable guy on and off work and yet not having achieved anything significant...?
I guess that question was decided for me when one of my best buddies got attached herself - and she told me think things over...
So I guess that's it then... if so, I must go back and work on unfinished things for 2009 so that 2010 will be a better year.
More updates coming soon on my future vacation...btw if you want a clue on where I am travelling...here's one:
- Like Egypt, it has a famous river delta as a key tourist attraction.
=)
Friday, July 24, 2009
Personal Frustration
Perhaps it is then I realise some things cannot change – and will not change.
I just realize that whatever I do, I cannot hide my weaknesses and they will again get exploited. And the basic respect that I will get as a member of my workplace will never be realized.
It is that sad really.
I can probably do whatever I can to rectify them, but as I realize, first impressions stick and I will have to go a long way to rectify them.
Sometimes I am not sure if I am doing the right thing by staying back to do things as best as I can do, but the mere thought that they will get totally changed can be a very demoralizing thing.
Also, I am feeling that the support of my colleagues in helping me get my job done is not far there – as it is always said that the key thing that breaks one’s back sometimes is the dynamics with the immediate boss, and the key colleagues in and around him. But I feel extremely let down by one of them – and this will be something that I know will stick. I think I have already made my grievances quite loudly known – but the mere helplessness of me knows that I am probably a useless fool – whether that will change is a big question.
One of my mentors told me that probably I should consider getting out as soon as technically I am able to. One part of me says that I should, but the other part of me warns me that fighting so hard to get in here, it will be stupid to get out before I have learnt everything that I must learn. The latter is what I am inclined to do, but losing the confidence of my big bosses will also play a big part to my own future. Whatever I do, they will never support whatever I say, whatever I do and simply my presence will soon enough be untenable. Despite what they say about staying back to help me make things work, deep down in my mind I have this extremely bad feeling that the reverse is the case.
So it is a hard decision to make - and no one can help me decide on that.
Knowing my own weakness at such things, it is hard to decide at times – perhaps I should take time, consider all options I have and tell myself if staying here is the best thing I can do. After all, it is one thing to travel from one end of the country from another. But it is something else altogether to take abuse especially when I know I don't deserve all of that crap.
‘Adaptability’ – I thought I am doing what I can to stay afloat. Apparently to some, it is not enough.
Maybe I am that useless after all – after all, everyone that I can talk to about this has gone but I am still here.
Maybe it may not be that good to do my 100% when I am not getting what I should get.
This time round - I think this is one good grouse that I need to get off my back. Problem is - I need to think of a way out - hope for the best....hope for the best....
Can I say anything more?
I just realize that whatever I do, I cannot hide my weaknesses and they will again get exploited. And the basic respect that I will get as a member of my workplace will never be realized.
It is that sad really.
I can probably do whatever I can to rectify them, but as I realize, first impressions stick and I will have to go a long way to rectify them.
Sometimes I am not sure if I am doing the right thing by staying back to do things as best as I can do, but the mere thought that they will get totally changed can be a very demoralizing thing.
Also, I am feeling that the support of my colleagues in helping me get my job done is not far there – as it is always said that the key thing that breaks one’s back sometimes is the dynamics with the immediate boss, and the key colleagues in and around him. But I feel extremely let down by one of them – and this will be something that I know will stick. I think I have already made my grievances quite loudly known – but the mere helplessness of me knows that I am probably a useless fool – whether that will change is a big question.
One of my mentors told me that probably I should consider getting out as soon as technically I am able to. One part of me says that I should, but the other part of me warns me that fighting so hard to get in here, it will be stupid to get out before I have learnt everything that I must learn. The latter is what I am inclined to do, but losing the confidence of my big bosses will also play a big part to my own future. Whatever I do, they will never support whatever I say, whatever I do and simply my presence will soon enough be untenable. Despite what they say about staying back to help me make things work, deep down in my mind I have this extremely bad feeling that the reverse is the case.
So it is a hard decision to make - and no one can help me decide on that.
Knowing my own weakness at such things, it is hard to decide at times – perhaps I should take time, consider all options I have and tell myself if staying here is the best thing I can do. After all, it is one thing to travel from one end of the country from another. But it is something else altogether to take abuse especially when I know I don't deserve all of that crap.
‘Adaptability’ – I thought I am doing what I can to stay afloat. Apparently to some, it is not enough.
Maybe I am that useless after all – after all, everyone that I can talk to about this has gone but I am still here.
Maybe it may not be that good to do my 100% when I am not getting what I should get.
This time round - I think this is one good grouse that I need to get off my back. Problem is - I need to think of a way out - hope for the best....hope for the best....
Can I say anything more?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Some thoughts…and a painful decision
It is in the wee hours of the morning that I decided that I should type this post which has been delayed for far too long…
For long I have delayed posting one up due to the fact that I needed time to compose my thoughts properly – and now is a good time to recap everything that has happened the past few months since my last post.
Work has been far more difficult than I thought – the scope itself is something which I have not been able to fully understand yet – and I can feel the weight of expectation of me having to be able to learn something from these few months. Whether it is writing reports, or reporting updates, or liasing with people, I am expected at this time to know a few things already and get into motion. Especially when there is a huge change of leadership that has been ongoing at my branch and will not end until early next year at the latest.
My greatest fear is that despite my own will to learn as much as possible, I may have committed far too many mistakes for me to be considered for a permanent posting. Hence I have decided to plan for alternatives should the very worst happen – I hope not, but I must be prepared for it. With the change of leadership at my own section and my own bosses, the cooperative element in my branch has been taken away. Sadly to what I have realized in public administration in PS, applying good organizational theories are very much dependent on the nature and personality of the leaders enforcing it. My disappointment is that some of my bosses may not have the foresight to deal key ideas across in a sensible and convincing manner that will win the respect of everyone in the branch. Cue MNO1001 – again. Except that since they just came like me, I have to stick with them…I guess I do not have a choice.
With regards to dynamics between colleagues, I guess being seen as a serious person on and off work is not a good thing. However, that may be something that is proving harder for myself to overcome. Often I have adopted a very straightforward approach, and not being able to accept daily ironies and jokes to relieve stress – and even when I tried, have been using the wrong methods in doing it. This indicates that handling life in the public sector is a different ball-game from the private, and I guess I am still too much buried in the private sector mentality. As a result, I have not been able to click that well with my colleagues, which can be very frustrating. But I realize that I have to melt the ice in my own heart to be more acceptable, receptive and approachable.
Perhaps it is my own personality that has affected everything else around me – a weak social life, on and off romances (or attempts at it), and more things. Having just attended my former secondary school classmate’s wedding pointed out very much to me why I cannot think of marriage – marriage and romance just do not click with my own personality which I do not see much wrong with until today. So therefore, today, I make this very vow – I will not think of romance and achievements until I can totally change my personality – and that will take time.
For long I have delayed posting one up due to the fact that I needed time to compose my thoughts properly – and now is a good time to recap everything that has happened the past few months since my last post.
Work has been far more difficult than I thought – the scope itself is something which I have not been able to fully understand yet – and I can feel the weight of expectation of me having to be able to learn something from these few months. Whether it is writing reports, or reporting updates, or liasing with people, I am expected at this time to know a few things already and get into motion. Especially when there is a huge change of leadership that has been ongoing at my branch and will not end until early next year at the latest.
My greatest fear is that despite my own will to learn as much as possible, I may have committed far too many mistakes for me to be considered for a permanent posting. Hence I have decided to plan for alternatives should the very worst happen – I hope not, but I must be prepared for it. With the change of leadership at my own section and my own bosses, the cooperative element in my branch has been taken away. Sadly to what I have realized in public administration in PS, applying good organizational theories are very much dependent on the nature and personality of the leaders enforcing it. My disappointment is that some of my bosses may not have the foresight to deal key ideas across in a sensible and convincing manner that will win the respect of everyone in the branch. Cue MNO1001 – again. Except that since they just came like me, I have to stick with them…I guess I do not have a choice.
With regards to dynamics between colleagues, I guess being seen as a serious person on and off work is not a good thing. However, that may be something that is proving harder for myself to overcome. Often I have adopted a very straightforward approach, and not being able to accept daily ironies and jokes to relieve stress – and even when I tried, have been using the wrong methods in doing it. This indicates that handling life in the public sector is a different ball-game from the private, and I guess I am still too much buried in the private sector mentality. As a result, I have not been able to click that well with my colleagues, which can be very frustrating. But I realize that I have to melt the ice in my own heart to be more acceptable, receptive and approachable.
Perhaps it is my own personality that has affected everything else around me – a weak social life, on and off romances (or attempts at it), and more things. Having just attended my former secondary school classmate’s wedding pointed out very much to me why I cannot think of marriage – marriage and romance just do not click with my own personality which I do not see much wrong with until today. So therefore, today, I make this very vow – I will not think of romance and achievements until I can totally change my personality – and that will take time.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Commentary from the office desk: 2 cents worth of political events (Part V)
This is a late entry compared to the previous 4 posts, but I will try to restore the regular balance back…in return, allow me to summarise and comment on some of major political developments for the past few weeks…
Hilary Clinton’s visit to Asia esp the 4 countries is of heavy political significance – by visiting Japan and Indonesia before PRC and Korea means that Washington is going to hopefully concentrate more on the ‘forgotten part’ of Asia – that being Southeast Asia. After all, any politically informed person in this region would know that Condolezza Rice snubbed the last 2 US-ASEAN summits in favour of trying to ‘fix’ the damage in Iraq and Iran. Somehow Obama’s intelligence has alerted him that building a good relationship with ASEAN will make his GWOT much smoother so that he can look to Afghanistan and Pakistan alone. Hopefully that helps.
The Tamil Tigers and their fight for a homeland amidst Sinhalese-dominated Sri Lanka is probably going to have a bloody ending. It is now obvious that the Sri Lanka armies will defeat them convincingly – but one has to ask if they can comprehensively wipe them out… I will not think that that is possible so long as they retreat back to the jungles, and their leader Villapulai Prabhakan cannot be found, this struggle may become another mini-Taliban with Osama…so this story will not close not in the short run.
Now of course the other thing comes with the G20 summit going on right now – Obama will have to realize that it is not just a PR exercise to look good – but he has to sound good and be truthful as well. There has been much furore over the agenda of the summit itself – that of which I think is not an easy thing for any new President of the USA to look at – it is worse when one has a global crisis, domestic confidence to rebuild as well.
On the ongoing saga of the DPRK missile testing (or they so claim it as a satellite), my guess is that a military confrontation might happen soon – the only question is how big it will be. Personally my own opinion of it is that it is dependent on how both sides will react. For Japan, the US and South Korea it will be clear – they will react accordingly. Especially for the Japanese, their interceptors are ready to shoot any missile that is launched – and that the US and South Korea will table it to the UNSC. DPRK vows to issue a military response – not sure what that means – but to me it is simple – it sure wants to declare war – something it never thought of – it might happen as soon as this weekend. However, with the launch yesterday, and Japan choosing not to intercept, it might be seen as a sign of weakness from the Japanese and Americans – and give DPRK the impression that they hold the cards in this struggle. Yet as one analyst from Beijing University correctly commented, this is the only way Kim Jong Il will get the attention it seeks – as the world would not pay attention otherwise to a country that is going to ruins anyway anyone looks at it.
Hilary Clinton’s visit to Asia esp the 4 countries is of heavy political significance – by visiting Japan and Indonesia before PRC and Korea means that Washington is going to hopefully concentrate more on the ‘forgotten part’ of Asia – that being Southeast Asia. After all, any politically informed person in this region would know that Condolezza Rice snubbed the last 2 US-ASEAN summits in favour of trying to ‘fix’ the damage in Iraq and Iran. Somehow Obama’s intelligence has alerted him that building a good relationship with ASEAN will make his GWOT much smoother so that he can look to Afghanistan and Pakistan alone. Hopefully that helps.
The Tamil Tigers and their fight for a homeland amidst Sinhalese-dominated Sri Lanka is probably going to have a bloody ending. It is now obvious that the Sri Lanka armies will defeat them convincingly – but one has to ask if they can comprehensively wipe them out… I will not think that that is possible so long as they retreat back to the jungles, and their leader Villapulai Prabhakan cannot be found, this struggle may become another mini-Taliban with Osama…so this story will not close not in the short run.
Now of course the other thing comes with the G20 summit going on right now – Obama will have to realize that it is not just a PR exercise to look good – but he has to sound good and be truthful as well. There has been much furore over the agenda of the summit itself – that of which I think is not an easy thing for any new President of the USA to look at – it is worse when one has a global crisis, domestic confidence to rebuild as well.
On the ongoing saga of the DPRK missile testing (or they so claim it as a satellite), my guess is that a military confrontation might happen soon – the only question is how big it will be. Personally my own opinion of it is that it is dependent on how both sides will react. For Japan, the US and South Korea it will be clear – they will react accordingly. Especially for the Japanese, their interceptors are ready to shoot any missile that is launched – and that the US and South Korea will table it to the UNSC. DPRK vows to issue a military response – not sure what that means – but to me it is simple – it sure wants to declare war – something it never thought of – it might happen as soon as this weekend. However, with the launch yesterday, and Japan choosing not to intercept, it might be seen as a sign of weakness from the Japanese and Americans – and give DPRK the impression that they hold the cards in this struggle. Yet as one analyst from Beijing University correctly commented, this is the only way Kim Jong Il will get the attention it seeks – as the world would not pay attention otherwise to a country that is going to ruins anyway anyone looks at it.
Friday, January 30, 2009
First impressions from work…and realisations…
Typing my first impressions of work from my new office – seems kinda weird that I do have the time to type here since my new job is supposed to be push from the start…ok, anyway, the reason to that is why I am typing this now is probably to reflect some deep feelings of mine which I know I cannot share with anyone – to do that would mean probably the end of everything for me…
One of them, which I cannot mention, is the hiding of a very dark secret which I cannot let anyone in this world know save for the other who is affected by it…To do so would jeopardise the very career which I am doing in…The only reason to why I am doing so is to help this other friend of mine in various ways possible such that he/she would be able to live well. Now my other friend has promised that she would keep it as well…as long as I am able to pay the price to it…its something that both of us committed, and it’s a price that we both have to pay…enough said. And don’t push me to say anything about this…I will end it here by saying that this is my darkest secret…
Now back to the slightly happier thing of starting out my new job. Its been a week since I have been here – and I have been feeling quite left out after a while…I happened to be roped in as my predecessor would be leaving in 2 weeks…so today happens to be her final day in the office where in the midst of doing lou hei we also did a special thank you for her – she happens to be a friend of one of my seniors in Arts Club that I deeply respect…it was an emotional day for her…but at that moment when she gave her speech, I truly realised how left out I was there…perhaps I might be expecting too much of myself as a newbie…the transition cannot be seamless. Everyone wished her well, but at the back of my mind, I was thinking of the same would be done for me 2-3 years down the road when it’s my turn to go…? I have my own doubts at that sadly…even though the environment can be said to be very warm and welcoming, but I truly realise that while taking over the duties of my upperstudy is one thing, building on the relations that she has built up in the office with the other guys, including my section, is another matter altogether – I truly felt really left out today cos I know that I am very very far away from building up dynamics even in my own section, not to say the whole branch…but preserver is the key word. Hopefully with my own willpower and never-say-die spirit I would be there sooner rather than later…It’s easy to say one should stay optimistic and things – as my experience from my previous job serves to testify – but just that for now, the borders are much harder to break down and therefore much harder to establish new relationships as well…Even as I hear it, I can feel my fellow team members who will definitely miss her absence and see perhaps as her not-so-good replacement – I am trying not to think about it. My senior’s right about this – being in a job is one thing, but to survive and do well is another. Therefore it seems to me that to achieve the second objective is far tougher than I expected, especially one which human relations define careers almost totally.
Finally, just to sign off on this Chinese New Year post, I have now formalised my own theory – the final one of course…
The ‘Ant of the Masses’ so defines that a person whose achievements are ordinary can be content if he is able to consistently perform well at work and sometimes exceed expectations. If an ant can life things 50 x its weight, anyone can sure perform his tasks beyond expectations – indeed we should follow such a strategy then all of us can do well in it…I am damn sure..
Happy Chinese ‘Niu’ Year 2009! :D
One of them, which I cannot mention, is the hiding of a very dark secret which I cannot let anyone in this world know save for the other who is affected by it…To do so would jeopardise the very career which I am doing in…The only reason to why I am doing so is to help this other friend of mine in various ways possible such that he/she would be able to live well. Now my other friend has promised that she would keep it as well…as long as I am able to pay the price to it…its something that both of us committed, and it’s a price that we both have to pay…enough said. And don’t push me to say anything about this…I will end it here by saying that this is my darkest secret…
Now back to the slightly happier thing of starting out my new job. Its been a week since I have been here – and I have been feeling quite left out after a while…I happened to be roped in as my predecessor would be leaving in 2 weeks…so today happens to be her final day in the office where in the midst of doing lou hei we also did a special thank you for her – she happens to be a friend of one of my seniors in Arts Club that I deeply respect…it was an emotional day for her…but at that moment when she gave her speech, I truly realised how left out I was there…perhaps I might be expecting too much of myself as a newbie…the transition cannot be seamless. Everyone wished her well, but at the back of my mind, I was thinking of the same would be done for me 2-3 years down the road when it’s my turn to go…? I have my own doubts at that sadly…even though the environment can be said to be very warm and welcoming, but I truly realise that while taking over the duties of my upperstudy is one thing, building on the relations that she has built up in the office with the other guys, including my section, is another matter altogether – I truly felt really left out today cos I know that I am very very far away from building up dynamics even in my own section, not to say the whole branch…but preserver is the key word. Hopefully with my own willpower and never-say-die spirit I would be there sooner rather than later…It’s easy to say one should stay optimistic and things – as my experience from my previous job serves to testify – but just that for now, the borders are much harder to break down and therefore much harder to establish new relationships as well…Even as I hear it, I can feel my fellow team members who will definitely miss her absence and see perhaps as her not-so-good replacement – I am trying not to think about it. My senior’s right about this – being in a job is one thing, but to survive and do well is another. Therefore it seems to me that to achieve the second objective is far tougher than I expected, especially one which human relations define careers almost totally.
Finally, just to sign off on this Chinese New Year post, I have now formalised my own theory – the final one of course…
The ‘Ant of the Masses’ so defines that a person whose achievements are ordinary can be content if he is able to consistently perform well at work and sometimes exceed expectations. If an ant can life things 50 x its weight, anyone can sure perform his tasks beyond expectations – indeed we should follow such a strategy then all of us can do well in it…I am damn sure..
Happy Chinese ‘Niu’ Year 2009! :D
Commentary from the office desk: 2 cents worth of political events (Part IV)
On this issue of the discussion of political events for this week, there are quite a few sensitive issues of discussion that have major implications possibly for the coming 1-2 years… seems like the Year of the Ox has instead made things harder for people to live with each other. Look on…
The focus on the new Obama administration in the US seems to have reached a fever pitch following his inauguration this week, and this will definitely be so for the next few months. And with good reason. Obama and his key ‘weapons’ have too many hot issues on the table to handle – and today I would just mention 2 of them – the economic crunch and his first victory on the passing of the economic stimulus package and condemnation of too-wealthy Wall Street Bankers…and the other being the ongoing instability in Israel-Gaza and the Afghanistan issue. Obama’s actions have been decisive and calm, but his ire against the Wall Street bankers shows that he wants to identify with the common American man on the street to the end of his term, and that for now will stand him in good stead to pass even the toughest of reforms that would help the average American. As for the Middle East, he might be a little too naive on how things can be resolved, but the guile of Hillary Clinton and Richard Holbrooke means that he would get the best expert advice on handling the situation.
North-South Korean relations seems to have taken a turn for the worse now with the North cancelling all agreements with the South. Of course, the North explains this as no thanks to the aggressive policies of the South led by Lee Myung Bak, but I would differ – I rather see as the North increasingly realising itself as being seen as the weak state, the pariah state…isolated and irrelevant, that it has decided to play the one card that it still has that would make the world shiver – now I am realising that my best pal’s words in his presentation more than a year ago are still very valid…
Lastly of course a word of mention must be given to the increasing unemployment situation in Singapore. Those who read would know that unemployment rate for the country rose to 2.6% at Q4 08, so that is ringing bells for everyone already. Now for what that means is simple – there is just an ongoing cloud of doom and gloom around the country – and the Chinese New Year itself is extremely reflective on that. Despite massive efforts to celebrate, the ongoing tightening of wallets means that revenues for selling of goodies and good foods have massively fallen – more people are now going out hoping to get something out of the worsening situation – employers want to tighten but more people need stable jobs to survive. I am definitely one of them some time ago – the current one I am doing is something I would definitely reject a year or 2 ago – not now, as I see myself having the need to adapt in order to prosper better. And that is the moral of the story for anyone else in Asia right now. Japan’s the latest case with calls for snap polls intensifying by the opposition over the LDP’s non effective economic reforms.
Finally, a side note has to go to the effects of global warming – the heat wave throughout Asia is tremendous. Most of us would have realised that the last 2 months have been unusually dry – when the expected Nov-Jan monsoon should be here and then a few years ago…and that the Australian Open was delayed for a while due to the searing heatwaves of 41 degrees Celsius and more…slowly, mankind is suffering for all the environmental destruction it has caused since World War II…
That’s all from me for now…the next post might be late…but it will still come =D
P.S. Some of my anger is also directed at Liverpool and the LA Lakers for not getting the wins they are getting and letting everyone else get ahead…but get ahead with it guys! Sooner or later, we will ride out of this slump…
The focus on the new Obama administration in the US seems to have reached a fever pitch following his inauguration this week, and this will definitely be so for the next few months. And with good reason. Obama and his key ‘weapons’ have too many hot issues on the table to handle – and today I would just mention 2 of them – the economic crunch and his first victory on the passing of the economic stimulus package and condemnation of too-wealthy Wall Street Bankers…and the other being the ongoing instability in Israel-Gaza and the Afghanistan issue. Obama’s actions have been decisive and calm, but his ire against the Wall Street bankers shows that he wants to identify with the common American man on the street to the end of his term, and that for now will stand him in good stead to pass even the toughest of reforms that would help the average American. As for the Middle East, he might be a little too naive on how things can be resolved, but the guile of Hillary Clinton and Richard Holbrooke means that he would get the best expert advice on handling the situation.
North-South Korean relations seems to have taken a turn for the worse now with the North cancelling all agreements with the South. Of course, the North explains this as no thanks to the aggressive policies of the South led by Lee Myung Bak, but I would differ – I rather see as the North increasingly realising itself as being seen as the weak state, the pariah state…isolated and irrelevant, that it has decided to play the one card that it still has that would make the world shiver – now I am realising that my best pal’s words in his presentation more than a year ago are still very valid…
Lastly of course a word of mention must be given to the increasing unemployment situation in Singapore. Those who read would know that unemployment rate for the country rose to 2.6% at Q4 08, so that is ringing bells for everyone already. Now for what that means is simple – there is just an ongoing cloud of doom and gloom around the country – and the Chinese New Year itself is extremely reflective on that. Despite massive efforts to celebrate, the ongoing tightening of wallets means that revenues for selling of goodies and good foods have massively fallen – more people are now going out hoping to get something out of the worsening situation – employers want to tighten but more people need stable jobs to survive. I am definitely one of them some time ago – the current one I am doing is something I would definitely reject a year or 2 ago – not now, as I see myself having the need to adapt in order to prosper better. And that is the moral of the story for anyone else in Asia right now. Japan’s the latest case with calls for snap polls intensifying by the opposition over the LDP’s non effective economic reforms.
Finally, a side note has to go to the effects of global warming – the heat wave throughout Asia is tremendous. Most of us would have realised that the last 2 months have been unusually dry – when the expected Nov-Jan monsoon should be here and then a few years ago…and that the Australian Open was delayed for a while due to the searing heatwaves of 41 degrees Celsius and more…slowly, mankind is suffering for all the environmental destruction it has caused since World War II…
That’s all from me for now…the next post might be late…but it will still come =D
P.S. Some of my anger is also directed at Liverpool and the LA Lakers for not getting the wins they are getting and letting everyone else get ahead…but get ahead with it guys! Sooner or later, we will ride out of this slump…
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Commentary from the office desk: 2 cents worth of political events (Part III)
Part III of this series today now comes with a twist – a mixture of the good, bad and ugly. Now one might understand the good and bad – but ugly? Allow me to explain. Ugly news happens because it is something nobody wants to happen. Of course things that fall into this category can include natural disasters biological epidemics and etc…ok I think you will get the point.
Speaking of the good, there are quite a few things that occurred this week…maybe a listing will be gd:
- Ceasefire in Gaza by Israeli troops – good that the carnage generated has been halted, but one can be sure that it will not be long before the Israelis come in again…and the case for justification may be as blurred as the previous one…
- Barack Obama’s inauguration – certainly one well watched by the world and hopes for him rise exponentially. His first call to Mahmoud Abbas, and then later to Olmert and the rest indicate that the Middle East is priority to him. And of course to add to that, he added heavyweight diplomats in his arsenal for dealing with Israel and Afghanisatan/Pakistan. Hope that he displays the same audacity and boldness for the economy as the whole world needs it
- Budget Statement – The ‘resilience’ package sure has a lot of measures which will try to soften the blow. But as the government mentioned, they are ‘soft beds to cushion a hard landing’ – so everyone will have to pray and ride it out still.
Now of the bad, definitely one or 2 things have to be mentioned, and the one that comes up to mind definitely is the media resurgence of Al-Qaeda. Following addresses by Osama Bin Laden, now other senior figures called up to declare all out war to attack targets in US and Britain for the ‘atrocities’ of the war. If that happens, US may have no choice but to smash Pakistan to get to Osama, but that itself faces difficulties due to the resilient Pakistan premiership and presidency. Also the fallout of the Mumbai incident in November 08 does not look to cease with India apparently ‘not impressed’ with the arrests made by the Pakistanis…so this looks to point to another period of instability in South Asia in 2009.
The ugly – is the occurrence of natural disasters and ecological problems in Indonesia and HK respectively. Seemingly earthquakes increasingly common in the last 4 years after the Tsunami indicates that that event had long lasting consequences on Indonesia’s geological formations, while the rise in pollution levels in HK indicate that the inevitable discussion of air pollution and traffic cannot be discarded in Asia’s 2nd most developed city after Tokyo – so watch this space.
Finally, one final mention that has to go to football today is that sanity has resumed with Kaka’s rejection of Manchester City. I have to confess, that was a close call coming – I certainly would not have expected that to come…but at least the good thing shows that money cannot buy everything for a person – but it is still a weapon that many people can do with.
Many happy returns, and have a happy Chinese New Year 2009 of the Year of the Ox =D
Speaking of the good, there are quite a few things that occurred this week…maybe a listing will be gd:
- Ceasefire in Gaza by Israeli troops – good that the carnage generated has been halted, but one can be sure that it will not be long before the Israelis come in again…and the case for justification may be as blurred as the previous one…
- Barack Obama’s inauguration – certainly one well watched by the world and hopes for him rise exponentially. His first call to Mahmoud Abbas, and then later to Olmert and the rest indicate that the Middle East is priority to him. And of course to add to that, he added heavyweight diplomats in his arsenal for dealing with Israel and Afghanisatan/Pakistan. Hope that he displays the same audacity and boldness for the economy as the whole world needs it
- Budget Statement – The ‘resilience’ package sure has a lot of measures which will try to soften the blow. But as the government mentioned, they are ‘soft beds to cushion a hard landing’ – so everyone will have to pray and ride it out still.
Now of the bad, definitely one or 2 things have to be mentioned, and the one that comes up to mind definitely is the media resurgence of Al-Qaeda. Following addresses by Osama Bin Laden, now other senior figures called up to declare all out war to attack targets in US and Britain for the ‘atrocities’ of the war. If that happens, US may have no choice but to smash Pakistan to get to Osama, but that itself faces difficulties due to the resilient Pakistan premiership and presidency. Also the fallout of the Mumbai incident in November 08 does not look to cease with India apparently ‘not impressed’ with the arrests made by the Pakistanis…so this looks to point to another period of instability in South Asia in 2009.
The ugly – is the occurrence of natural disasters and ecological problems in Indonesia and HK respectively. Seemingly earthquakes increasingly common in the last 4 years after the Tsunami indicates that that event had long lasting consequences on Indonesia’s geological formations, while the rise in pollution levels in HK indicate that the inevitable discussion of air pollution and traffic cannot be discarded in Asia’s 2nd most developed city after Tokyo – so watch this space.
Finally, one final mention that has to go to football today is that sanity has resumed with Kaka’s rejection of Manchester City. I have to confess, that was a close call coming – I certainly would not have expected that to come…but at least the good thing shows that money cannot buy everything for a person – but it is still a weapon that many people can do with.
Many happy returns, and have a happy Chinese New Year 2009 of the Year of the Ox =D
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A tribute to my late great grandmother
I will break off for a while here to pay my last respects and salute probably one of the greatest people that I have ever known in my life - my great grandmother...
Was told by my mum that she passed on at 7am today...so in my state of mourning and deep reflection, I hereby present this tribute to her...
A legendary lady in her own right, she was born just when the Chinese Revolution of 1910 happened or after that...in the instability of the times in China, she managed to brave the elements and sailed down to Malaysia where she struggled with a lot of boat immigrants to try to find a new life overseas...
No doubt she would have heard of the favourable times in Malaysia compared to her hometown in Fujian...the thing I was not sure was whether she had met her husband by then...that was one thing which I cannot ascertain forever...
She struggled and tried to make ends meet, but somehow luck seemed to get worse for her...no one would have known about a crazy group of Asian idiots who wanted a 'co-prosperity sphere' for themselves...and when my own hometown was invaded in early January 1942 - my great grandma was caught together with her husband like so many Chinese peoples in Asia...
However, just as luck would have it, just as she was to become executed after great grandpa was slain by the Japanese sword...when she was next in line...she was spared. That, as she told me herself, the Japanese would leave her for another day.
That day never came of course - that very next day the Japanese under Yamashita stormed Johor Bahru and subsequently smashed British hopes at a certain City hall with their surrender. But she was spared - instead asked to do slave labour and grow crops for the troops - if I did not get my facts wrong.
When the war was over, she moved in with my grandfather and his kids as she had nowhere else to go - that now my mum vividly remembers as she slept in the same room with great grandma until her wedding to my dad. And my great grandma never forgot the care that was given to her by grandfather and the rest. The gods' blessings were with her as things improved in the 1960s...she recovered as well - she managed to see to see her own descendants expand their families and see her grandchildren, and subsequently 2-3 decades later, her great grandchildren.
It was then when she decided that she discovered with her reborn life, she decided to do something that she never did - tour the world and meet new friends. It was remarkable as for one like her she never did something like this since she sailed down from Fujian - she travelled alone for the next 2 decades to and fro between Singapore and my hometown...and made many new friends in Singapore itself. And she was overjoyed to be here...I would always remember the time where she even made the trip to Tiong Bahru to buy the famous buns for us. To tell the truth, the reason to why I strived to be a 'street directory' is all due to her unpresevering spirit - if she can remember places so well, so should I as well... In those times she would always take care of us and ask me to check phone numbers as she would always recorded her visits to her friends...
However, as time caught up with her...so did her body and subsequently, her spirit...she got weaker, and was unable to move - needed constant taking care of already...in the last 5 years or so she was not the same familiar chirpy old lady that I knew - as she began to lose her memory and not recall a lot of people.
But some things that matter to her a lot somehow do not go away...in her dying days my grandma told my mum that she would constantly mention great grandpa's name...and wished my grandpa and us well... So at the end, just as when it seemed that she would not remember anyone...these thoughts kept coming back to her. But at the same time, as these moments happened while her physical condition deteoriarted, I told my mum that her time was really not long...soon...
And then she passed away today...my grandma told us that she died happy - a smile on her face.
My emotions are so mixed....on one end I feel heartwrenched - if there is such a word - but on the other hand, I feel at peace now that with that, I am certain that she has lived a long and meaningful life. To be able to see the world, enjoy various things at various stages of her life, and yet be appreciative of the many things that happened to her - I know that she has gone to seek her next life in a better world.
In the end, this - to my great grandma - my blessings go to you and go happy after enjoying a very long life...
Was told by my mum that she passed on at 7am today...so in my state of mourning and deep reflection, I hereby present this tribute to her...
A legendary lady in her own right, she was born just when the Chinese Revolution of 1910 happened or after that...in the instability of the times in China, she managed to brave the elements and sailed down to Malaysia where she struggled with a lot of boat immigrants to try to find a new life overseas...
No doubt she would have heard of the favourable times in Malaysia compared to her hometown in Fujian...the thing I was not sure was whether she had met her husband by then...that was one thing which I cannot ascertain forever...
She struggled and tried to make ends meet, but somehow luck seemed to get worse for her...no one would have known about a crazy group of Asian idiots who wanted a 'co-prosperity sphere' for themselves...and when my own hometown was invaded in early January 1942 - my great grandma was caught together with her husband like so many Chinese peoples in Asia...
However, just as luck would have it, just as she was to become executed after great grandpa was slain by the Japanese sword...when she was next in line...she was spared. That, as she told me herself, the Japanese would leave her for another day.
That day never came of course - that very next day the Japanese under Yamashita stormed Johor Bahru and subsequently smashed British hopes at a certain City hall with their surrender. But she was spared - instead asked to do slave labour and grow crops for the troops - if I did not get my facts wrong.
When the war was over, she moved in with my grandfather and his kids as she had nowhere else to go - that now my mum vividly remembers as she slept in the same room with great grandma until her wedding to my dad. And my great grandma never forgot the care that was given to her by grandfather and the rest. The gods' blessings were with her as things improved in the 1960s...she recovered as well - she managed to see to see her own descendants expand their families and see her grandchildren, and subsequently 2-3 decades later, her great grandchildren.
It was then when she decided that she discovered with her reborn life, she decided to do something that she never did - tour the world and meet new friends. It was remarkable as for one like her she never did something like this since she sailed down from Fujian - she travelled alone for the next 2 decades to and fro between Singapore and my hometown...and made many new friends in Singapore itself. And she was overjoyed to be here...I would always remember the time where she even made the trip to Tiong Bahru to buy the famous buns for us. To tell the truth, the reason to why I strived to be a 'street directory' is all due to her unpresevering spirit - if she can remember places so well, so should I as well... In those times she would always take care of us and ask me to check phone numbers as she would always recorded her visits to her friends...
However, as time caught up with her...so did her body and subsequently, her spirit...she got weaker, and was unable to move - needed constant taking care of already...in the last 5 years or so she was not the same familiar chirpy old lady that I knew - as she began to lose her memory and not recall a lot of people.
But some things that matter to her a lot somehow do not go away...in her dying days my grandma told my mum that she would constantly mention great grandpa's name...and wished my grandpa and us well... So at the end, just as when it seemed that she would not remember anyone...these thoughts kept coming back to her. But at the same time, as these moments happened while her physical condition deteoriarted, I told my mum that her time was really not long...soon...
And then she passed away today...my grandma told us that she died happy - a smile on her face.
My emotions are so mixed....on one end I feel heartwrenched - if there is such a word - but on the other hand, I feel at peace now that with that, I am certain that she has lived a long and meaningful life. To be able to see the world, enjoy various things at various stages of her life, and yet be appreciative of the many things that happened to her - I know that she has gone to seek her next life in a better world.
In the end, this - to my great grandma - my blessings go to you and go happy after enjoying a very long life...
Friday, January 16, 2009
Commentary from the office desk: 2 cents worth of political events (Part II)
I discover that it is easy to criticise and comment on some things, while it is tougher being on the ground and having to make hard decisions that will not be seen as rational until hindsight... But that does not mean that one is not allowed to express his view...
As usual now, (and I hope this can be maintained for as long as it can be), Part II of the comments from the resident political couch is here...
Now the most important thing is probably, for here at least, the attempted burning and scarring of an MP during an event organised by a community centre. For those who might see it as making it a mountain out of a molehill, I will not say that this qualifies as a molehill - indeed, this could be the tip of the iceberg of increasing discontent by groups of people who are hit the worst by the economic recession and may be very unhappy with government measures in relieving their situation thus far. Indeed I might be inclined to agree that such resent is simmering, but for such a person to act beyond rationality is a sign and a warning of how badly things have hit here - indeed there is a realisation that majority of Singaporeans are quite ambivalent about those. I may be wrong of course, but my opinion is that most Singaporeans take their current living for granted and think that they would be the last ones to be hit by it - highly to the contrary when considering actual events on the ground of course.
Of course now on the ongoing invasion (I refuse to say clash as it is a totally one sided invasion by the Israelis) in Gaza. Strictly speaking attacking is fine in the nature of self defence, and if it is justified of course, but even that becomes blurred when the UN is attacked not once, but twice. From a neutral's perspective, it could be that Israel is taking a pot shot at telling the UN to mind its business and hit whoever their intelligence determines Hamas' rockets are coming from. That, of it, is purely hypocritical - I may be totally wrong of course. But no one will disagree that this invasion has totally violated all forms of international law. That - is extremely regrettable. Make no mistake - it is totally right to react in self defence - but as Sun Zi himself mentioned, to kill the civilians is the most despicable form of war.
Part 3 of this commentary is on the focus of the fuel squabble between Russia and Ukraine over the payment of gas and subsequent boycotting. This sadly is a preview of what happens when natural resources get increasingly tight in supplies and more countries fight over it. Cue - China, which everyone on Earth will know will be the one big consumer of all resources even outlasting the Russians themselves. The problem over the current spat is that the EU is suffering as a result due to Ukraine being the outlet to where gas reaches them - so now there is the scenario of two men fighting over the same thing which their clients suffer. Those who pay attention to European politics of the last decade would know the ongoing sensitivities and even tensions of relations with Ukraine and Russia, as there is much at stake - not just the gas, but political and strategic implications as wel. I am quite sure that this will be resolved soon, but how soon is a big question mark.
And finally, who can forget the fact that this week is the last week of the reign of President George W Bush? Now of course there were critics who mentioned just after Bill Clinton's terms that George W's term will be less positive, if not rocky - come to think about it, that's about the same thing that can be said of his reign. However, of course to just say that would be too sweeping a statement - a better way to put it is that the negatives happen to be more serious than the positives of his 2 terms in the White House. For the positives of engaging the PRC, Russia and traditional American allies, and reacting in the right way towards global terror, the negatives which include a misled invasion of Iraq, worsening relations between Iran, DPRK, Russia, African and Southeast Asian nations have overwritten all of that. What Obama can do now, sadly - is to do damage limitation. What Ma Ying Jiu did after Chen, Obama will have to do that - and more in order to write over the mistakes of Bush Junior. Now that takes some doing, and the world waits in bated breath over his appointment next week.
One parting shot amongst all of this, has to be back to soccer again. And any soccer fan who has the slightest idea of international football will surely be aware of a crazy 110 Million pound transfer by Manchester City for Milan's playmaker Kaka. Obviously in the world of transfers and player prices, the most expensive remains one Zinedine Zidane who cost Real Madrid less than half of that bid from Juventus, so this breaks the stratosphere of football transfer dealings. What I can only comment is that while City's ambitions are well listed in this bid, the implications of player dealings if this goes ahead is that clubs will be held ransom even more than before - that of which no one wants except 'naughty' players.
There goes a very turbulent week then - but in my opinion, there are more things to expect, more things that will surprise every week - so stay tuned.
Have a nice week ahead! =)
As usual now, (and I hope this can be maintained for as long as it can be), Part II of the comments from the resident political couch is here...
Now the most important thing is probably, for here at least, the attempted burning and scarring of an MP during an event organised by a community centre. For those who might see it as making it a mountain out of a molehill, I will not say that this qualifies as a molehill - indeed, this could be the tip of the iceberg of increasing discontent by groups of people who are hit the worst by the economic recession and may be very unhappy with government measures in relieving their situation thus far. Indeed I might be inclined to agree that such resent is simmering, but for such a person to act beyond rationality is a sign and a warning of how badly things have hit here - indeed there is a realisation that majority of Singaporeans are quite ambivalent about those. I may be wrong of course, but my opinion is that most Singaporeans take their current living for granted and think that they would be the last ones to be hit by it - highly to the contrary when considering actual events on the ground of course.
Of course now on the ongoing invasion (I refuse to say clash as it is a totally one sided invasion by the Israelis) in Gaza. Strictly speaking attacking is fine in the nature of self defence, and if it is justified of course, but even that becomes blurred when the UN is attacked not once, but twice. From a neutral's perspective, it could be that Israel is taking a pot shot at telling the UN to mind its business and hit whoever their intelligence determines Hamas' rockets are coming from. That, of it, is purely hypocritical - I may be totally wrong of course. But no one will disagree that this invasion has totally violated all forms of international law. That - is extremely regrettable. Make no mistake - it is totally right to react in self defence - but as Sun Zi himself mentioned, to kill the civilians is the most despicable form of war.
Part 3 of this commentary is on the focus of the fuel squabble between Russia and Ukraine over the payment of gas and subsequent boycotting. This sadly is a preview of what happens when natural resources get increasingly tight in supplies and more countries fight over it. Cue - China, which everyone on Earth will know will be the one big consumer of all resources even outlasting the Russians themselves. The problem over the current spat is that the EU is suffering as a result due to Ukraine being the outlet to where gas reaches them - so now there is the scenario of two men fighting over the same thing which their clients suffer. Those who pay attention to European politics of the last decade would know the ongoing sensitivities and even tensions of relations with Ukraine and Russia, as there is much at stake - not just the gas, but political and strategic implications as wel. I am quite sure that this will be resolved soon, but how soon is a big question mark.
And finally, who can forget the fact that this week is the last week of the reign of President George W Bush? Now of course there were critics who mentioned just after Bill Clinton's terms that George W's term will be less positive, if not rocky - come to think about it, that's about the same thing that can be said of his reign. However, of course to just say that would be too sweeping a statement - a better way to put it is that the negatives happen to be more serious than the positives of his 2 terms in the White House. For the positives of engaging the PRC, Russia and traditional American allies, and reacting in the right way towards global terror, the negatives which include a misled invasion of Iraq, worsening relations between Iran, DPRK, Russia, African and Southeast Asian nations have overwritten all of that. What Obama can do now, sadly - is to do damage limitation. What Ma Ying Jiu did after Chen, Obama will have to do that - and more in order to write over the mistakes of Bush Junior. Now that takes some doing, and the world waits in bated breath over his appointment next week.
One parting shot amongst all of this, has to be back to soccer again. And any soccer fan who has the slightest idea of international football will surely be aware of a crazy 110 Million pound transfer by Manchester City for Milan's playmaker Kaka. Obviously in the world of transfers and player prices, the most expensive remains one Zinedine Zidane who cost Real Madrid less than half of that bid from Juventus, so this breaks the stratosphere of football transfer dealings. What I can only comment is that while City's ambitions are well listed in this bid, the implications of player dealings if this goes ahead is that clubs will be held ransom even more than before - that of which no one wants except 'naughty' players.
There goes a very turbulent week then - but in my opinion, there are more things to expect, more things that will surprise every week - so stay tuned.
Have a nice week ahead! =)
Friday, January 09, 2009
Commentary from the office desk: 2 cents worth of political events the past few days
In order to find more use for my space here, and I have been thinking about it for a while...I have decided to use this space as a column for commenting on political events and my own take on them...
Of course there will be nothing derogatory - just in my own words - a comment from the 'ant of the masses'...
Now of course, anyone would know that there are a few issues of note in Singapore and the rest of the world that one would have to take notice:
1 - The latest announcements here with regards to extending packages and retraining for the unemployed and elderly workers. This is obviously a massive boost for these groups of people (and I know it full well as I was in one of them for quite a while) and at a time where money counts more than anything else, hopefully these moves do instil confidence in the economy one way or another here.
2 - Whoever that says that gas is not important should literally bang themselves on the wall with news on the spat between Russia and Ukraine and the suffering EU in between. Now of course there are moves to resolve it quickly (and they better do), this is definitely a warning of what it can mean in the future. China and Japan squabbling over it now is another sign of it in case you still do not get the idea yet.
3 - Some things die hard - in the eyes of fundamentalists that is. Israel's latest offensive in Palestinian territory is with no thanks to their allegations of attacks by Islamic fundamentalists in Gaza. The question is not the extent of Israel's attacks, which sadly occupies the no. 2 on my own list - it rather is whether this attack is legal in the first place. Thinking back to the previous understandings of 'self defence' thanks to a module which I studied earlier, this notion as Israel's reason of officially attacking remains extremely questionable. It is not the first time Gaza's attacked, but hell, not a lot of people can do anything no thanks to Israel's backers - I seriously do get the feeling that somehow, power politics still pays in the world of IR... This is still highly regrettable - and serious questions have to be asked of the strength of international law - as most of it, until today, was crafted by the chief victor, that being of course the USA in 1949...
This is a preview of what should hopefully be a weekly instalment from me on my own 2 cents view of political issues...
But that of course has to be wrapped up by a 'sweetener' - for me I think...so the 'sweetener' this week has to be English football...
Contrary to what British football's most successful manager has to say about my favourrite football club as 'chokers' and 'imploding', I will maybe want him to consider that if this is the sort of mind games that he wants to play, than that is a off to a very lousy start. Seriously, I think that there is as equal as a chance of Liverpool taking the title as well as Man Utd and Chelsea. Perhaps Fergie better be concerned about how not to slip up against the Blues this Sunday....one that I would definitely watch.
=)
P.S. Comments are welcome
Of course there will be nothing derogatory - just in my own words - a comment from the 'ant of the masses'...
Now of course, anyone would know that there are a few issues of note in Singapore and the rest of the world that one would have to take notice:
1 - The latest announcements here with regards to extending packages and retraining for the unemployed and elderly workers. This is obviously a massive boost for these groups of people (and I know it full well as I was in one of them for quite a while) and at a time where money counts more than anything else, hopefully these moves do instil confidence in the economy one way or another here.
2 - Whoever that says that gas is not important should literally bang themselves on the wall with news on the spat between Russia and Ukraine and the suffering EU in between. Now of course there are moves to resolve it quickly (and they better do), this is definitely a warning of what it can mean in the future. China and Japan squabbling over it now is another sign of it in case you still do not get the idea yet.
3 - Some things die hard - in the eyes of fundamentalists that is. Israel's latest offensive in Palestinian territory is with no thanks to their allegations of attacks by Islamic fundamentalists in Gaza. The question is not the extent of Israel's attacks, which sadly occupies the no. 2 on my own list - it rather is whether this attack is legal in the first place. Thinking back to the previous understandings of 'self defence' thanks to a module which I studied earlier, this notion as Israel's reason of officially attacking remains extremely questionable. It is not the first time Gaza's attacked, but hell, not a lot of people can do anything no thanks to Israel's backers - I seriously do get the feeling that somehow, power politics still pays in the world of IR... This is still highly regrettable - and serious questions have to be asked of the strength of international law - as most of it, until today, was crafted by the chief victor, that being of course the USA in 1949...
This is a preview of what should hopefully be a weekly instalment from me on my own 2 cents view of political issues...
But that of course has to be wrapped up by a 'sweetener' - for me I think...so the 'sweetener' this week has to be English football...
Contrary to what British football's most successful manager has to say about my favourrite football club as 'chokers' and 'imploding', I will maybe want him to consider that if this is the sort of mind games that he wants to play, than that is a off to a very lousy start. Seriously, I think that there is as equal as a chance of Liverpool taking the title as well as Man Utd and Chelsea. Perhaps Fergie better be concerned about how not to slip up against the Blues this Sunday....one that I would definitely watch.
=)
P.S. Comments are welcome
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