Emotional Unsteadiness

I always thought that I would be able to ride out any emotional unsteadiness that I am experiencing... then I thought I was...

But then I realised that being emotionally weak happens to be my Achilles heel...among all other things..

The last few months have been a huge emotional ride as either by chance, or by fate, I had somewhat tasted the sweetness, bitterness and the after-taste of romance... what it means to be in and outside of it...

My own experiences have since forced me to take a step back, while now in emotional distress over what and how I should be doing... But then I realised just a few things about myself that I have to accept and consider...

For one, I have to admit that I am probably a simple and yet open-minded guy on finding the ideal one - probably this may explain why my previous interests have been ladies with quite complex backgrounds...be it by choice or cirsumstance. But then it has placed huge emotional stress on myself trying to manage these expectations - so that has always been a tricky issue...

Secondly, certainly I need to learn to be selfish...I guess I haven't - although I will stick to my philosophy that so long as the one that I am interested in enjoys herself on the things we are doing, and me being happy - I think I will have to make my stand known to her as well...so long as the occassion happens because it is her initiative...

Thirdly, nothing is a constant in life - and that applies as well in relationships. But then in relationships there happens to be one constant - opposites attract. And it is key that one maintains who he is, and what he does because that I personally feel is how good relationships work - there have to be some acceptable constants each must accept each other for in order to make it work... retaining one's personality and principles despite the ever-changing circumstances is important. However, if the one I am looking for criticises me for my failings, then of course the answer is without saying that I will have to change - not just for her, nor myself, but for us.

Right now you can probably guess that I am undergoing some sort of emotional rehabilitation...but I will not lose hope.