Friday, October 28, 2005

Have I hit rock bottom?

It's been a long while...I haven't been doing well...

Put it simply, I have no idea what is wrong with me. The fact is that I am breaking all the wrong milestones.

Finishing an essay through the night, scoring a spectacular new low for my mid term tests, which is definitely not acceptable since the rest are all scoring As, and then getting a lousy grade for my research essay...

Suddenly I ask myself whether have I bitten off too much that I can chew?

I didn't ask that myself, it was Fiona who did. It just struck me that to good in one thing, I am sacrificing so much academically to make it there. I t was just what Thomas himself said when he told me that I am smashed between Arts Club and PS Soc itself.

I admit that I have not been fully detaching myself from Arts club official matters when I should, and this has resulted in my poor grades. As a result, I am increasingly becoming moody...and become quite despondent. So much that I have no idea whether I can maintain my current CAP. I really hope that I can maintain it at least, but it will take a superherculean effort to do that in my opinion.

I don't know what to say now, except just these things:

I know that I have compromised a lot of things, but I want to repair the damage. Priority now: Books. May the gods bless me in achieving what I wanted to achieve: maintenance of my CAP score, if not better.

For that is just good enough for me right now...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

At the end of the day, you will have to come to terms with what you really to gain out from Uni i.e. results or the experience from activities of clubs and societies. Decide on it, take that path and do not regret. We tend to want too many things, become too greedy, just want the best of both worlds. The impt qn is: are you up to it? Can you cope? Remember Alex? Take him as an example. Just remember this, most things like results are transience, you really have to touch your heart and ask, what do I want out from all these?